Universal Is Opening A Nintendo Theme Park, Your 10-Year-Old Self Is Gonna Crap His Pants

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Universal Is Opening a Nintendo Theme Park, Your 10-Year-Old Self Is Gonna Shit Their Pants

Universal Studios Theme Park will always find itself playing catch-up with Disney’s parks, no matter which way you slice it. Disneyland in California has 9 years on Universal Hollywood, and Universal Orlando is about as old as we are, opening in 1990. Despite having arguably more badass rides and themes, like The Wizarding World of Harry Potter, Marvel Comics superheroes, Jurassic Park, and an entire recreation of Springfield from The Simpsons, they’ll never be able to compete with “It’s A Small World” and the fucking Teacups.

After all, what could be more iconic than that lovable, high-pitched mouse? An Italian Plumber with a red hat, badass mustache and a penchant for stomping out motherfucking turtles, that’s who.

Nintendo announced today that they’ll be taking their talents to Orlando (and Hollywood, Japan, Singapore and future properties), bringing their timeless games and beloved characters to Universal theme parks. Feel that pit in your stomach? That’s your 10-year-old self’s balls dropping in excitement.

“The immersive experiences will include major attractions at Universal’s theme parks and will feature Nintendo’s most famous characters and games,” stated an official release.

Now, this isn’t going to be a straight-up standalone Nintendo theme park, at least not at first. Universal said they’ll create “spectacular, dedicated experiences based on Nintendo’s wildly popular games, characters and worlds.” So, what that sounds like to me is a dedicated “Nintendo Island” at Universal Orlando’s “Islands of Adventure,” at least.

If I had to venture a guess as to where they’ll put this, and just putting on my speculation hat, this could serve as a replacement for Universal’s “Marvel Super Hero Island,” which has been rumored to be closing since the Walt Disney Company bought Marvel in 2009. The two sides are rumored to be in ongoing talks, which makes sense considering as Marvel attractions exist at every Disney park except for Disney World, and Disney can’t even use the word “Marvel” to promote Marvel-themed events at Disney World. Replacing Marvel with Nintendo would certainly soften the blow for Universal and could be a win for both sides.

Either way, I can’t wait to see what they come up with. Maybe a Mario Kart roller coaster? A Squirtle-themed water slide? A Star Fox or Metroid-themed shooter ride? A 3D Zelda adventure? The possibilities are endless.

Shut up and take my money, Nintendo and Universal. Just shut up and take my money.

[via Kotaku]

Image via YouTube

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  1. 58
    PostGradShibby

    It’s funny because much like the ten year old version of themselves, many of the writers here have indeed shit their pants. The only difference is that the ten year old wouldn’t blog about it.

    Nice workMehLog in or sign up to reply. • 1 year ago
  2. 39
    CubicleCEO

    The logical play for the Mario Kart ride is clearly some sort of violent go-cart ride. I may have a child just for the excuse of coming here multiple times a year.

    Nice workMehLog in or sign up to reply. • 1 year ago
    • 17
      OMGradRebel

      The Hulk rollercoaster could definitely become a Sonic ride. Nintendo did buy the rights to Sonic in 2013.

      Nice workMehLog in or sign up to reply. • 1 year ago
  3. -1
    Seriously

    For craps sake people, it’s 2015. Can we PLEASE stop assuming that the base human is male? I’m sure there’s a lot of girls that grew up with Nintendo who would crap their pants too.
    It’s hard to take a site seriously when you have such crummy, inexperienced writers.

    Nice workMehLog in or sign up to reply. • 1 year ago
  4. -10
    runningman

    I have to disagree with the first sentence, besides an honorable mentioned of Disney’s ‘Hollywood Studios’ (star wars), in what dimension has Universal been playing catchup with Disney? Besides Star Wars, does Disney have any IP or rides that interests someone over the age of 8?

    Nice workMehLog in or sign up to reply. • 1 year ago
    • 18
      JayTas

      At last count, Universal Parks and Resorts had a revenue of just shy of $2 billion.

      In 2014, Disney Parks made $2.2 billion in PROFITS. On $15.1 billion in revenue.

      I could go on highlighting the differences, but I think those numbers speak for themselves.

      Nice workMehLog in or sign up to reply. • 1 year ago