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Ultimate Frisbee Could Become An Olympic Sport, I Hate Everything

Ultimate Frisbee Could Become An Olympic Sport, I Hate Everything

In some of the most devastating news I’ve heard in 2015, The International Olympic Committee is officially recognizing Ultimate Frisbee as a sport.

Per New York Magazine:

The World Flying Disc Federation, which also governs disc golf and Guts Frisbee, called the moment an “incredible milestone” on its 30th anniversary. “We are looking forward to continuing to work with the IOC as our partner in promoting Flying Disc sports around the globe.”

I can’t even sugarcoat it. Frisbee sports disgust me. Frisbee sports are the Guy Fieri of sports. Frisbee sports are like if Ed Hardy and Oakley did a collaboration and promoted it exclusively through the Monster Energy Drink website with Puddle of Mudd playing in the background.

But what’s even more disgusting than frisbee sports themselves are the people who blindly promote these sports as if they’re legitimate. I once heard an avid frisbee golf player refer to golf, which was been around since 15th-century Scotland, as “ball golf.” Just no, dude. No. Don’t tarnish the sport of golf by associating it with your flying discs and insinuating that frisbee golf is relevant enough that my golf needs a clarifier in front of it so people don’t mix it up with the choice sport youth groups and Magic: The Gathering enthusiasts.

Nothing is sacred anymore. I fear that William Fritz deFries III and Steve Yzerman deFries will grow up in a world where football has been so tainted by concussions that frisbees will replace footballs in the schoolyard, and my wife will have to yell at me for shaming my kids when they tell me they’re going to play some “pick-up Ultimate in the park” on a warm summer’s night.

Maybe I just need to accept that I’ll be the old crotchety dude who talks about what America used to be while watching Tiger Woods and Tom Brady highlights on a device that hasn’t even been invented yet while oldies like “Trap Queen” and “Blank Space” play softly in the background so no one can hear me sobbing alone in my den. Dammit.

[via New York Magazine]

Image via Shutterstock

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Will deFries

Will deFries (@WilldeFries) is a Senior Writer at Grandex and the world's foremost authority on Sunday Scaries. Email me at will@grandex.co.

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