You can spend a lot of time in Whole Foods spending money on a bunch of useless stuff and making bad decisions. Trust me, I know. I live blogged from there for 4+ hours tasting every wine they had to offer. Hell, my time spent there sent me into a spiral that night — we ended up going to a tequila-filled dinner before being the token old guys at college bars in downtown Austin. Whole Foods made me do bad, bad things that day.
But what’s scary is that, soon, Whole Foods may make me do even worse things. Like get tattoos, per CBS.
Whole Foods is considering adding tattoo parlors to its new 365 chain, which is targeting millennial shoppers and the budget conscious by offering smaller stores with lower prices. Whole Foods has been working on the idea since last year, when the millennial generation overtook Baby Boomers as America’s largest age group.
Adding tattoo parlors may only be the tip of the youth-focused iceberg, with Walter Robb, the grocer’s co-chief executive officer, telling Bloomberg TV that the locations will include suppliers and vendors geared toward millennial interests. Aside from tattoos, the vendors may include record shops and body-care product lines, he said.
I already turn into a monster when I walk in that place. I start scouring aisles for foods I’ve never even heard of in between pit stops at the bar. I’m sucking down samples of chai drinks while watching dudes hit on babes at the salad bar. The last thing I need to do is have the option of catching a pinot buzz only to parlay it into getting the state of Michigan tattooed on my upper thigh, or Kid Rock lyrics printed on the inside of my forearm.
But I guess that’s just a risk I have to take. .