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Treat Yourself To A Lunch Nap

Treat Yourself To A Lunch Nap

Around 20 or 30 years ago, you likely laid in the following familiar position at one point or another. Back on a thin “sleeping mat” that was laid on a cold tile floor, surrounded by the other twenty or so members of your kindergarten class. But you weren’t sleeping, and aside from maybe one kid who was already wise enough to respect sleep, no one else was either. You just stared at the ceiling, knowing that as soon as the lights flicked on there would be a rush for the toys, and you’d be goddamned if that piece of shit Timmy was getting to the only Buzz Lightyear before you.

As you and the majority of your class waited for the dark exile of the grade school joke known as “nap time” to be over, usually only one or two kids actually caught up on the sleep they desperately needed. Those two kids grew up to be Mark Zuckerberg and LeBron James. The rest of you are reading this at a desktop clutching a cup of coffee for dear life with massive bags under your eyes, just like I am.

Every time I sit down at my desk blurry-eyed and in desperate need of sleep, I ponder all the wasted opportunities I had in my life to nap that I simply turned down. Some say that you caught up on sleep and naps in college, but how good is your sleep when half the time it consists of lying on a couch with a headache and the alcohol shakes.

The work week is an absolute grind. Once you graduate college you struggle to remember what having so much free time was like. Weekends that used to be utilized to have the time of your life are sometimes used to simply recuperate the rest you need to keep your life together. I’m here today to tell you that it’s time to take back your rest.

It’s time to take a lunch nap.

Now I understand that we aren’t all in the same place, and treating yourself to a mid-day siesta may not be as feasible for some as it is for others. I’m fortunate enough to work at home a majority of my days, so when the clock strikes 12 I can stride over to my couch for a bit if I so wish. However, I’d be a liar if I said I hadn’t dove into some REM cycles at a desk in an office before.

Whatever you gotta do, make it happen. Plant that face on your desk and start snoring. Head out to your car in the parking garage, throw on some soft tunes and drift off into a brief slumber. If your morning was nothing but slurping coffee and dragging ass, the only way to get back up to close to full speed is to get that lunch nap in your life.

I once read something that said the best way to recharge is drink a full cup of coffee and then nap for twenty minutes. Now I never followed that up with more research or even remember where I read it, but it sounds fucking legit so I’m sticking to that philosophy. Sure, you may sacrifice having a decent lunch, as a lunch-hour-nap also means a protein bar for the rest of your day’s nourishment. But from where I’m standing, I think your body will thank you more for getting back some of the sleep it lost staying up late watching Diners, Drive-Ins, And Dives as opposed to stuffing a full Chipotle burrito into your stomach by yourself like a loser.

Your body is a temple, and as a postgrad that temple is always fucking exhausted. In terms of bad employees, being the tired employee is third behind only the funds embezzling employee and the guy who doesn’t refill the Keurig employee. I’m not here to peer pressure you, but just try it. Try it once for me. Commit yourself to a lunch hour with 5-10 minutes of eating and 30-40 minutes of napping, then feel free to @ me on Twitter to tell me how god damn refreshed you felt that afternoon.

Image via Shutterstock

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Kyle Bandujo

The artist formerly known as Crash Davis. Dad humor all day every day.

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