Let me tell you a story. I’m going to take you back about three years ago to the day. I was on somewhat of a ‘break’ with a girl I’d been smashing cellulite with, and in a desperate attempt to join in on the swipe-based dating fun sweeping the nation, tried to download Tinder. But much to my chagrin, I had exactly zero memory on my iPhone. #ThanksSteveJobs. Anyway, before I went on a post-Spring break-esque photo deleting spree, I went on my laptop to see if I could download the Tinder app through iTunes and try and swipe for babes on my computer.
In the words of Chazz Reinhold, “what an idiot! What a loser!” Of course I couldn’t download Tinder through iTunes and swipe on my computer. Apparently, my dreams of 2014 are now coming to fruition, though, because Tinder is expanding to a web-based version.
Per NY Daily News:
Take a breather, thumbs — Tinder Online is coming soon to a desktop near you.
The hookup app is set to debut a browser-friendly web version for antsy singles looking to jazz up a boring school day or 9-to-5 grind, a company blog post announced Tuesday.
“Introducing Tinder Online: a fun, new web experience and your English professor’s worst nightmare. Mobile phones not allowed in class? Just fire up your laptop and swipe incognito. Cubicle life got you down? Now you can toggle between spreadsheets and Super Likes in a flash,” Tinder said in a statement.
Okay, kinda cool I guess. But what I may have wanted in 2014 just isn’t jiving with me now. The main issue? This move is wayyyyy too off brand for Tinder. It’s a swipe world we’re living in; it is no longer point and click. Leave the point and click to the middle aged divorcees willing to shell out a few bingo dingos for Match.com and J-Date. Tinder is all about the swipes, and that functionality almost indubitably disappears on the web version.
So there’s no way I see Tinder desktop taking off, and especially not when you’re sitting in your fucking cube! I mean Tinder has to know that when we swipe at work we’re trying to be incognito, not have a giant picture of some scantily clad co-ed beer funneling a Keystone Light smack dab in the middle of my work computer. And besides, Tinder’s gotta know I save the swipe game for the bathroom anyway.
TL;DR: Tinder is moving to a web-based version that I will not use in my cubicle*.
*But alert me when Bumble does..
[via NY Daily News]