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Thousands Of French Mud Racers Come Down With Severe Mud Butt

Thousands Of French Mud Racers Come Down With Severe Mud Butt

It happens almost every weekend. One of my asshole friends posts pictures from the Tough Mudder, Warrior Dash, Spartan Race, or similar event that they participated in that day, and I feel like a lazy fat-ass because I “only” went to the gym in between sessions of binging on Entourage and eating Taco Bell. But after reading the news about a mud race in France, I think I’ll stick to getting my work outs in at the gym.

The day after the June 20th Mud Day race outside Nice, about 30 people reported being sick with diarrhea and vomiting. Gross, but pretty normal given the strenuous exercise they engaged in in the day before. But when nearly a 1,000 of the run’s 8,000 participants came down with those same symptoms, it started to become a little bit suspicious. And it turns out, it was the course itself that likely made everyone ill.

You know how a mud race involves crawling and running through, and likely ingesting, mud? Well, it turns out that the mud at this particular race was mixed with animal manure. That’s right, friends: all of those pretentious asshats who posted like 30 Instagram photos of themselves proudly caked in “mud” slamming beers had actually crawled through animal poop. They at some point were probably face-down in cow shit. They breathed in (and probably swallowed) feces.

According to The Daily Mail, “Regional health agency PACA said investigations were underway to determine what caused the mystery outbreak.” But I think we all probably already know. So the next time one of my friends posts a picture of themselves after a Tough Mudder, I’m probably just going to reply with a link to this story with the question “Are you sure it’s just mud?” while my lazy-ass works out in the comfort of my (hopefully) sanitary gym.

[via The Daily Mail]

Image via Glynnis Jones / Shutterstock.com

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Jenna Crowley

Jenna used to be known as 2NOTBrokeGirls, but then one of the girls actually went broke, so she's struck out on her own. Jenna spends her free time saving the world, one sorority girl at a time (usually while wearing yoga pants), questioning why she decided to get a doctorate, documenting her love of all things cheese related, and hosting the new PGP podcast Don't Take It From Us. You can ask her anything you want about football, using your boobs to get what you want, and pizza at @JennaLCrowley on Twitter or via email at JennaLCrowley@gmail.com.

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