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This Email From A Finance Student With “Lip Zits” Is A Playbook On How To Not Get Hired

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There is an email going viral within the financial industry – although whether or not most of the men in the financial industry understand the internet meaning of the term “viral” is another topic altogether.

The email, originally posted on BroBible, is from an undergrad at the University of Wisconsin – Milwaukee, and is basically a perfect example of how to not get recruited. For any job. Ever. Here is the full email:

Subject: Question

Hey REDACTED,

We talked a couple weeks back at the UW-Milwaukee accounting night. (I was the one looking for equity research positions and had a zit on my lip that could have passed for a cold sore. Lol. Whew. It was not. You’re probably like, “uh.. What?” Maybe that helps you recall, maybe not. Not completely important, I suppose.

Anyways, if you have a chance here is my question: (background first) I interviewed with BDO and Baker Tilly today, two firms that seem like good places to work, I believe they don’t kill you like a big 4. Tomorrow I have an interview with Deloitte :O somewhere I thought I’ve always wanted to work. Obviously I don’t have an offer so this is all hypothetical thinking, but if I get the job, the reality of the situation is that I’m getting old. 25. I know you can’t force love and I know it just comes when you’re not looking, but would working for a big four completely squash any possibilities for potential relationships if one came along? Is working for a big four a potential career – love trade off? I mean, I like money(as do most females) but love is…great 🙂 What are your thoughts?

Thanks!

REDACTED

Sent from my iPhone

I realize a lot of us reading this are anxious about what both our professional and personal futures will hold. Well, your future doesn’t look too bright if you’re going around talking about “lip-zits,” which sounds a lot like HERPES, with a potential employer (or girlfriend for that matter). As this was in fact, “Sent from my iPhone” I can only assume it was late, you had one too many refreshments, and were struggling with a bout of insecurity.

There is no magic formula to getting hired, but at least pretend that you put your big-boy pants on when you’re courting a potential suitor – whether that suitor be personal or professional. And if your lip-zits are that bad, there’s an entire aisle in the drugstore to help you out, bro.

[via BroBible]

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Spaceman Spiff

Now a graduate with a few years of business "experience", Spiff didn't exactly turn into the interplanetary explorer extraordinaire he had hoped to become. Instead, he spends his days as a cynical desk jockey, moonlighting as a Contributing Writer for PGP and marching ever closer to the big 3-0, which has only fueled his transition from quarter-life crisis straight into thrisis.

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