This Dude Just Sent Us A Very Aggressive Writer’s Application

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This Dude Just Sent Us A Very Aggressive Writer's Application

We’re always looking for remote writers. You can submit your content directly through the site, or you can do what “Cush” did and send us a very direct, in your face email to

I don’t know which one of you clowns is the ring leader of this circus, but this is addressed to you.

I’m 2 years out of my alma mater, University of Maine (Go Blue), and am fortunate enough to have landed a good paying job in the field of my study (Engineering). I don’t exactly love my job, but it pays well so I feel anchored down to it because of the pay. It certainly isn’t something I see myself doing forever and I’m okay with that because my second best years are still ahead of me, am I right? I’m married to my college sweetheart. We have a cat. If it weren’t for our astronomical monthly student loan payments we could afford a house, a nice vacation once a year, maybe have kids someday. But at the very least, I could afford to be able to drink something other than Busch when I sit down every Sunday to watch the #TomBradyShow. Alas, I’ve retained my affinity for cheap beers that developed during my college years instead of allowing my beer palate to expand, the Mrs. and I are living that one bedroom apartment lyfe, and we have a cat. Did I mention the cat? Seriously the thing is fucking adorable. There should be a blog about her. I’ve always been a dog person myself but the cat came with the woman and I’ve embraced it, mainly because I don’t have to clean the litter box. Fuck that noise.

Currently I find myself stuck in what you may label as the “PGP Era.” No, I don’t go to the bars and blackout every weekend. I don’t have Tinder because my left ring finger is a bit heavy these days. And brunch isn’t a weekly thing for me. But don’t be mistaken, I ooze post grad problems. Not enough flavor selection for the Keurig at work? I can relate. Boss man assigns task which you have zero previous experience with or knowledge of? Yup, supposed to be doing that right now. Your work buddies turn everything into a bet because you all work for a living and supposedly have disposable income? (HA!) I’m out a twenty spot because Tim’s mechanic bill was only $375 this time and I took the over. And to be honest, I spend far more time tinkering with my lineup than I care to admit. But hey, Draft Kings is a viable retirement plan…right?

The whole point of me bragging about how mediocre I actually am is this; if there is room for another voice on the PGP team, I’d love to be a part of it. Sure I’m no Will DeFries. That dude is a legend. Giving career advice probably wouldn’t be my thing but I do have an appreciation for the works of CarolineGould. You already have the resident beer snob in Shibby to write reviews on the seasonal brews which is unfortunate because it could be a nice excuse to splurge on some good beer. And sports seems to be cornered by CrashDavis who is actually doing a bang up job despite being a Cowgirls fan. But maybe, just maybe, you need the voice of an authentic New Englander, born, raised, educated, and now working in the great State of Maine. That actually sounds very boring come to think of it. My borders have not expanded…at all. But Hell, my old high school just made national news for banning dances for the rest of the year on account of “grinding.”

So imagine the kind of shit the product of such an institution can come up with. Outrageous.
This is my application. Feel free to use it as my breakout story. Thanks.


Well, that’s one way to go about it. I like his style. I don’t know anything about this guy, but he got our attention. We’ll see if he follows up with some fire content.

Image via Shutterstock

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