Things I’ve Gotten Worse At: Music

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Things I've Gotten Worse At: Music

Read last week’s Thing’s I’ve Gotten Worse At: Drinking.

18-year-old John: There’s so much out there I haven’t heard yet!
28-year-old JR: There’s too much new stuff out there.

John: My 30GB iPod is almost completely full!
JR: I pretty much just listen to the same 30 songs over and over.

John: Oh yeah, I’ve heard of them. Their stuff’s pretty good, but have you heard of these guys?
JR: Never heard of them. I can tell by their name they sound awful.

John: “Here’s what we’ll do. I’ll buy the CD from Best Buy and burn you guys a copy if you give me $5 each. Deal?”
JR: My two buddies and I have a collaborative playlist on Spotify called Boners. It’s a mess.

John: I only listen to deep cuts and bootleg mixtapes. It’s all about being on the cutting edge of sound.
JR: I’m kinda into EDM. No matter how bad I am at dancing, I can dance to it.

John: The type of music I listen to affects the way I dress.
JR: The way I dress affects the type of music I listen to.

John: “Can I borrow your external hard drive and copy your music library?”
JR: Spotify Premium for life, son.

John: My mom threw my Parental Advisory CDs out my car window.
JR: I turned my mom onto Mumford and Sons. I’ll probably take her to a show for her birthday.

John: My dad hates my music.
JR: I’m starting to listen to a lot of the albums my dad played when we were kids.

In the car

John: “Let’s put on some tunes!” grabs 18-pound CD binder from backseat
JR: “What do you mean there’s no Bluetooth? You got an emergency aux cable somewhere?”

John: “You guys check out the tweeters I put in my 4Runner?”
JR: “You guys on Twitter?”

John: I love blasting music from my 12-inch subs so everyone around me knows what I’m listening to.
JR: I’m so glad nobody knows what I’m currently listening to.

Today’s music

John: How many mixtapes is Lil Wayne planning on dropping?! I mean I’m not complaining.
JR: Why does every new rapper today have a super white first name and an inanimate object for their last? Vince Staples, Casey Veggies, Earl Sweatshirt?

John: I know every word to Eminem’s final rap battle scene in 8 Mile.
JR: My brain hurts. All the time.

John: Kanye West is crazy good.
JR: Kanye West is crazy. It’s so good.

At concerts

John: “You guys think we can sneak drinks into this concert?”
JR: “You guys, I don’t think I can drink at this concert. I’m doing a month-long detox thing.”

John: Let’s get as close to the stage as possible.
JR: Let’s get as close to the bathrooms as possible.

John: I can’t believe they’re coming out for a THIRD encore! This is fucking epic!!!
JR: My feet hurt. Sits on ground.

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