Things I’ve Gotten Worse At: Business Trips

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Things I've Gotten Worse At: Business Trips

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24-year-old John: “Thanks for driving me to the airport babe! Can you open the trunk so I can grab my new suitcase from Marshalls?”
28-year-old JR: “Yeah, Uber for JR? Can you step on it? My flight leaves in 38 minutes.”

John: Man, they weren’t kidding about TSA being slow these days. Good thing I got to the airport two hours early so I’m not in a rush!
JR: strolls through Precheck

John: Oh damn, my flight is delayed three hours. Guess I’ll sit in the airport bar and try to make some friends!
JR: “Can I get on the next flight? The $200 change fee is fine.”

John: Southwest is such a fun and affordable way to fly. I love how they don’t have assigned seats!
JR: “Yes, no problem. I’ve operated plenty of emergency exit doors before.”

John: I’d better purchase wifi to knock out some work on the flight over. I don’t want my boss to see me offline during business hours.
JR: pops a Dramamine

John: I packed an extra phone and laptop charger as well as a spare set of earplugs, in case I lose or break anything on the trip.
JR: Whoops, forgot my laptop. I guess I’ll be working from my phone this afternoon. Or maybe sitting in a matinee showing of Neighbors 2 stoned instead.

John: I can’t wait to crush this client presentation when I get in. I should see if they want to grab drinks afterwards to really maximize my face-to-face time with them.
JR: “Look, I’ll keep this to under 30 minutes and I’m telling my boss I took you guys out to dinner tonight. Cool?”

John: $75 a day per diem! I can get hella apps at dinner.
JR: I’m going to expense this deep tissue massage as the client dinner.

John: I’ve definitely got to walk around downtown tonight and check out the sights! It’s not everyday you get to explore a brand new city.
JR: One of my clients told me to check out the restaurant downstairs, it’s supposed to be pretty good. dials room service instead

John: I should hit up everyone I know who lives here, since I have some free time tonight. I could reconnect with peeps I haven’t seen in awhile!
JR: I probably shouldn’t post anything on social media to avoid some random asshole from high school wanting to hang out.

the next morning…

John: This really blows having to catch a 7 a.m. flight back in the morning. My boss said she needs me in the office right at the start of business though!
JR: “Yeah, hi, can I get a late checkout?” Maybe I’ll tell my boss they needed me here another day and just take today and tomorrow off.

John: Oh man, I’m so tired from last night I totally forgot to take my water bottle out of my Marshall’s suitcase. I’ll run it through the scanner again.
JR: I hope they don’t find all the weed I’m flying with. Who am I kidding? I’m a white male going through TSA Precheck. I could be flying with a child in my carry-on and they’d still want to keep the line moving.

back in the office…

John: Doing that trip in 24 hours really took a lot out of me. I don’t know if I could do that again anytime soon.
JR: “Sure, where do you need me? I’ll leave tomorrow.”

Image via Shutterstock

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