I don’t use the term “bro” lightly. Mostly because it’s a terrible word, but also because it’s been so overused that it has a legitimate stink to it. A stigma that can’t be shaken. But after one look at this six-pack of dudes who were arrested in Greenville, North Carolina, I can say without any hesitation that these dudes are bros.
All students at East Carolina University, the
men bros were arrested at 1:00 a.m. on Saturday morning after breaking into the Bellamy Apartment Complex. It’s unknown whether or not they came from a luau theme party at whatever fraternity they’re in, but I’d like to imagine that they all just happened to be wearing Hawaiian shirts and didn’t realize it until an hour after they started hanging out and the Adderall finally kicked in.
Without even having to read it in WITN’s coverage of the break-in, I immediately knew all of their names: Tanner, Caleb, Casey, Dylan, Brandon, and Taylor. If there wasn’t a Tanner or Dylan in the group, I was going to have to do some background research and decide whether or not this story was actually fake. It’s like all of their father’s had the same thought process of trying to name their sons. “But honey, what if he becomes a professional quarterback president of his fraternity? He needs a strong name, like Tanner.” They probably each received a Yeti cooler as their high school graduation present which they’d put in the beds of their Ford F-250s that have never sniffed a backroad.
The victims claim that the
guys bros were attempting to steal their dog as an act of revenge after an issue had come up earlier between one of the six men bros and a woman affiliated with the resident. They’ve since been charged with breaking/entering to terrorize/injury. I, personally, think these guys were just looking for a chill hound to put some sunglasses on and Snapchat to their other Hawaiian-wearing friends, but I (unfortunately) don’t know any of them personally so it would be wrong of my to jump to conclusions. After all, for all we know, they were just trying to play with the dog before heading to a late night where they’d toss on some early 2000s rap that they could grind to while drinking Four Loko and high-fiving.
They’re all still enrolled at ECU while the investigation pans out. But in the words of one of them (probably), “What? We can’t drop out now. The tailgate next weekend for the Virginia Tech game is going to be sick.” .
Image via WITN