Ever had the urge to send someone a fake penis anonymously? Sure you have, because you’re a complete weirdo with multiple restraining orders.
In what can only be described as a classic example of America’s greatness, some guy finally noticed that there was a glaring lack of anonymous fake penis revenge companies in the marketplace, and he did something about it. Allow me to present Prank Warz Online, a company that will send dildos to your enemies with a little note attached. I know, you’re probably thinking, “How did this guy think of something so revolutionary?”
Well, per their website:
So one day I was fired from my job for the most ridiculous reason. In fact, what I was fired for was from the direct result of something my immediate manager told me to do. Turns out, what I did was against corporate policy. Anyway, long story short, I got canned! While I was being escorted out of the building, my manager tells me sorry for how things turned out but he would be more than happy to be a professional reference for my next employer. Really? I wanted to blurt out “Go Fuck Yourself” more than ever at that point. However, I bit my tongue because why would I want to burn a bridge with a professional reference that I actually needed for future employment.
This story was shared with several of my closest friends. One of them suggested as a joke to start selling dildos and another one encouraged that once I land a new job, mail a card that said “Go Fuck Yourself.” As you can see, Prank Warz Online is the result of those ideas.
Nice of them to add the “Online” clarifier in the name. That’s how you know they have a website.
To whom can you send dildos to? According to their Frequently Asked Questions:
1. Your Boss / coworkers
2. Ex Boyfriend / girlfriend
3. The nice old lady across the street
4. Best friend
7. The sperm donor that doesn’t pay child support
8. Favorite college professor
9. The dentist that performed the prostate exam on you while you were knocked out
10. Shitty customers that you have to deal with at work!
Number 9 is literally rape, in case you were wondering. Just for the record, you should contact police immediately if your dentist rapes you.
For only $16.95, you can send the “Go Fuck Yourself,” a 4.5 inch fake penis that includes lube, which is nice. If you’re on a budget but still need to send someone a fake penis anonymously, you can opt for the “Quit Being A Dick.” Or, if you’re looking for a completely outside of the box way to creep someone the fuck out, you can send the “Bonergram.”
Image via Imgur
(That’s the “Go Fuck Yourself”)
Have fun sending dildos to people, guys..
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