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There’s A FitBit For Your Dong That Tracks How Good You Are At Sex

Have you ever been curious about if you’re actually decent in bed or not? Want to improve your sexual performance so as to not be a complete and utter disappointment in the sack? Well, much like everything else these days lately, there’s an app for that.

It’s called the SexFit, and it’s basically a Nike Fuelband you wear on your dong. And it’s the app you never knew you needed.

sexfit-3

Frankly, I don’t think I can actually come up with a joke for this, because as far as news stories go, it doesn’t get much better than a FitBit for your schlong.

Much like a non-penile FitBit, the SexFit connects to your iPhone, is wifi enabled, and tracks how many calories you burn while exercising…only, it also counts things like “thrusts per minute” and “average rhythm,” and it tracks these concepts in REAL TIME. So while you’re writhing on top of your woman like a dying fish, this thing is tracking you on the iPhone app, telling you to slow down or speed up your swag.

“When the centre light is lit, the user is hitting peak performance and matching the rhythm set by the training programme. Too many lights and the user will need to slow down, and not enough lights will advise them to pick up the pace.

A “+/-“speed button on either side of the gadget can also be used to adjust the speed of the training session on the go.”

In case you were curious, this thing is social media enabled. So you can share your sexual prowess with your friends. That’s what the world needs to see.

“Much like other similar fitness tracker innovations, the SexFit allows the most dedicated users to share and compare their favourite sessions and impressive individual milestones with their peers on social media.”

I can’t wait to show people how well I’ve broken my three minute record! Three and a half, here I come! Literally!

If you’re interested, the SexFit will be available spring 2015. A new excuse to check your phone during sex, other than getting an urgent email from your boss. Props if you can finish after getting one of those.

[via Next Shark]

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