Yesterday, in my “Five People That Had A Worse Weekend Than You” column, I tossed in an item about how group of evangelical Christians were saying that Starbucks had “declared war on Christmas” by removing the images from their traditional holiday cups and simply going with a red cup to be more inclusive. If you read that column weekly, you know that the people, organizations, and things included are often there because of the sheer ridiculousness of their story. Which is exactly what I thought that particular item was when I saw it — ridiculous.
But yet, apparently, this is actually a legitimate thing. People actually believe that Starbucks is anti-Christmas, are angry about it, and are creating a growing online movement. Like, seriously?
To be honest, though, I can’t say I’m surprised. The Internet is essentially a portal for contagious outrage. One person gets pissed about something, rants about on YouTube for three minutes and all of a sudden, it’s an actual “thing.” It’s almost as if the entire online universe would shrivel up and die if we didn’t have anything to be virtually offended by. And so, every day, we get riled up about something, from lions we didn’t care about until they were killed to celebrities wearing politically incorrect Halloween costumes, and our timelines explode with monologues and reposts about the issue, until the next thing for people to be outraged by comes along.
But let’s have a reality check here. I’m pretty sure Starbucks actually loves Christmas since they sell like a billion gift cards during the holiday season, if the amount I wind up with on December 26th is a fair indication. Also, I went to twelve years of Catholic school and a Jesuit university, and I can say with a fair amount of confidence that Jesus doesn’t really care that Starbucks took the Christmas clipart off their cups. He’s probably got bigger things to worry about. As should you. And in case you need some help, let me give you some ideas:
According to Rock The Vote , “Millennials have the potential to be the largest voting bloc in our country but are voting at a fraction of their size, with an estimated 30 million young people staying home in 2012.” And yet, they are the first ones to Tweet politically charged idioms at the drop of a hat.
Greg Hardy beat the crap out of a woman, has shown absolutely no remorse, and not only gets to continue playing football, but gets referred to as a “leader” and likely makes way more money than you.
According to Feeding America, “15.3 million children under 18 in the United States live in households where they are unable to consistently access enough nutritious food necessary for a healthy life.” Children are innocent, and every single one should have enough food to eat.
Twitter still doesn’t have an edit button, and therefore there is no way to correct when you use there/their/they’re inappropriately. Obviously the technology exists, so why won’t they give us the damn edit button? Are they laughing at our constant misspelling of ‘definitely’ behind our backs? #Conspiracytheory
A September 2015 Veterans Administration Inspector General report found that “307,000 vets died before applications [for care] processed.” These people fight for our freedom and yet can’t get the basic care they were promised in return.
Don’t like people but love animals? Well, according to the ASPCA , “Each year, approximately 2.7 million animals are euthanized (1.2 million dogs and 1.4 million cats)” in shelters.
You want to be outraged about something today? There you go. Pick an issue, educate yourself and do something about it that doesn’t involve you tweeting your outrage. But if you got up this morning and decided that the thing you were going to take a stand on was the holiday Starbucks cups…I’m going to need to ask that you sit your ass down, because there are some real problems out there that we should be concerned about, and ain’t no one got time for your foolishness. I’m too busy waiting in line for skinny peppermint mocha. .
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