When social media sites like Myspace and Facebook began taking over our brains, for some odd reason we felt the need to tell our social media “friends” every single little detail about ourselves, completely ignoring the fact that these people were supposed to be our actual friends and therefore should already know these details. Who were we kidding? We just wanted to waste time bragging and/or complaining about our lives and pretending to be cool and social media savvy. Lists, also called Notes on Facebook, spread like wildfire, and people hastily shared them, desperately seeking the heroine-like sense of gratitude known as “likes.”
I, like many of my other teenage friends, fell victim to this incredibly annoying trend and finally gave in. Per instructions, I shared 14 random things about myself in 2009. Today marks five years since I posted this sorry attempt at getting attention. After reading over the list, I just about died with embarrassment, but also laughter. They say you don’t know who you are when you’re 18, but all 18 year olds disagree. Five years is a long time to develop and grow as a person. When I was 18, I dreamed of being my current age (no full disclosure here). But is it really all that great?
Let’s see just how far I’ve come…
“The 14 Random Things” Thing
Rules: Once you’ve been tagged, you are supposed to write a note with 19 random things, facts, habits, or goals about you. At the end, choose 19 people to be tagged. You have to tag the person who tagged you. If I tagged you, it’s because I want to know more about you.
(Can we pause to talk about how awful the “If I tagged you, you tag another person blah blah blah” crap is? I mean what the hell…)
1. 2009: I strongly believe in mind over matter.
1. 2014: I strongly believe in drinking wine to accept the things I cannot change. Things like my boring after-work schedule and my student loan payments.
2. 2009: Despite wanting to get out of this place they call Milford, I am terrified about going to college.
2. 2014: Praise the Lord I got out of Milford, the town where prematurely tying the knot and getting prego is more important than getting an education. College was the best thing that ever happened to me!
3. 2009: I would rather have a few amazing friends than a bunch of decent-ish ones. And that’s the way it is.
3. 2014: I would rather have Netflix than anything/anyone else. And some Cheez-Its.
4. 2009: Keith is my other half, without a doubt.
4. 2014: “Without a doubt” my ass. He’s long gone, baby. But wasn’t my naiveté cute?
5. 2009: I secretly wish I worked for Dr. House.
5. 2014: I secretly wish I worked for Dr. House. Some things never change.
6. 2009: Soccer is a lame girls’ sport and I can’t play it anyway. Volleyball is my strong point. Good with my hands.
6. 2014: If I had the time and energy to even play, any sport would be fucking awesome. Still good with my hands. Perhaps it’s all the typing and mouse-clicking all damn day.
7. 2009: Carrie Bradshaw is my fictional character idol.
7. 2014: Carrie Bradshaw is a needy, over-dramatic, prissy little NYC snob. Damn, I love that girl.
8. 2009: I love playing board games and card games.
8. 2014: I love playing drinking board games and drinking card games.
9. 2009: I have bad road rage. Watch out.
9. 2014: I have worse road rage, and a brand new car that makes me feel invincible. Watch out.
10. 2009: There are 5 girls at my school that i would LOVE to punch…hard.
10. 2014: There are 5 coworkers/neighbors/landlords/etc. that I would love to punch…hard.
11. 2009: Vegetables are an extremely important food group and i wish people would eat more of them. Broccoli <3
11. 2014: FTBS. TV dinners and Little Caesars, baby.
12. 2009: I do yoga every thursday at 6:00.
12. 2014: I do Big Bang Theory and Modern Family every Thursday at 6:00. And wine.
13. 2009: In an 8-hour day at work, I do about 5.5 hours of work.
13. 2014: In an 8-hour day at work, I do just the amount of hours necessary to accomplish the basics.
14. 2009: I hate wearing socks to bed. Sometimes I put socks on an hour before I go to bed just so that when I go to bed I can take them off because it feels amazing.
14. 2014: I cannot be bothered with what’s on my feet when I finally make it to bed. After my Walking Dead Netflix marathon, I’m pretty comfy regardless.