As a woman, I am the first to admit that we are not always the most reasonable of creatures. Perhaps it’s hormones, perhaps it’s the pressure of having to carry around boobs, perhaps it’s that we only make 70% of what those of you with a penis make. Whatever the reason may be, we sometimes flip our shit, usually in response to the action (or inaction) of a man. Now, occasionally it’s deserved – you guys can do some remarkably dumb things. But other times, it’s completely unreasonable – and us ladies know that, trust me.
Now, I am not a guy/girl relations expert. I don’t know if you’re a nice guy and she’s nuts, or if she’s completely sane and you’re just an asshole. I can barely figure out my own relationships, so I’m not going to weigh in on anyone else’s, although my usual guess is that the reality of any guy/girl situation is in the middle – you’re a little bit of a jerk and she’s slightly psycho. But as a girl, I am an expert in the things that you guys do that make us girls nuts. So in the interest of helping the male species understand the female mind, let’s talk about one of them – why it drives us crazy that you don’t “end” a text conversation.
At dinner the other night, one of my girlfriends was talking about how she has recently been talking to a new guy, but one of things she didn’t like about him was how he would just ghost in the middle of a text conversation. They would be going back and forth, conversationally, and then out of the blue, the texts stop coming. All of a sudden, she’s wondering, “Did I say something that turned him off?” “Did he meet someone else and he’s not interested anymore?” or “Did he walk into traffic while texting and get hit by a cab?”
Given that I am a pretty sensible human being, I know that none of these are likely the case. Of course, I am only this rational when it comes to my friend’s relationships; in my own, I’m a full-on crazy person and he is definitely either sleeping with someone else or lying in the street slowly dying. But I digress. Reasonably, I know that odds are that he didn’t have anything more to say or got distracted by something else – a meeting, actual work, his X-Box – and he simply didn’t feel the need to “end” the text conversation. He’ll pick up the phone and text her the next time she crosses his mind or he has something interesting to say (or wants a booty call). It’s not personal – it’s just that, in guys’ minds, texts aren’t “actual” conversations, so there’s no need to say “bye.”
But we ladies don’t exactly think that way. When a guy abruptly stops texting, we liken this to rudely getting up and leaving the table in the middle of a dinner discussion or hanging up the phone without saying goodbye. Much like we need an actual ending to a television series, a good book and all relationships, we need an end point to our conversations – text ones included. While we stare at our phones waiting for those three little dots to appear (because as I’ve said before, iPhone or GTFO ) we’ll make ourselves insane wondering about the possibilities of why he stopped chatting. And odds are, we’ll take out that crazy on him when he finally does have something to say.
So for our sanity, and yours, can we all just agree to “end” text messages with a simple “Gonna watch some Sportscenter, talk soon” or a “Gotta run, TTYL?” Because right or wrong, the ambiguity of no ending to any convo makes us girls nuts, and the only one that’s going to pay for that is you..
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