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The Sunday Scaries Panic Room Breakdown: The Oscars

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The Sunday Scaries Panic Room Breakdown: The Oscars

Oh, you thought your Scaries were bad? How about Warren Beatty calling the wrong winner in front of the entire world? Just kidding, everyone was asleep by then because 1. The Oscars are quite possibly the most boring major award show and 2. They were long as hell.

My night? Well, it went as follows.

Being someone who was out of the office from Wednesday on last week, the idea of having to actually shower first thing upon waking up loomed hard. Oh, and the whole “work” thing too. But my Scaries were nothing compared to that of everyone else last night. Let’s dive in.

Train, huh? Not my first choice for a Sunday playlist, but uh, okay.

Am I the only person who was kiiiiind of hoping it would snipe her in the head? I know it would’ve made her headache worse, but for the greater good of the people, we needed that laugh.

First mistake: going to McDonald’s. You were destined for horrible things after that.

Oh, now we talkin’.

Homemade spring rolls? Damn. I can say from personal experience that those are no easy feat. Be careful with that La Croix, though. Duda may come at your neck.

Hard to have Scaries when you’ve got “winnings” instead of “devastating losses” from craps, but I get it.

Bringing the Sculps out? Huge Sunday move. Limit to two, though.

What the hell is a matter with you, Charlie? Just kidding, at one point last night I said, “I’d rather be watching Harry Potter than The Oscars.” Still stand by that.

I do not condone any of this. Ever.

Two-hour commute? You need to better structure your life, my dude.

Normally I scold for people who don’t watch the marquee event on live television, but honestly, trash television was probably much more entertaining.

Nothing better than a two-day weekend surprisingly becoming a three-day weekend. Nothing worse than the opposite.

Listening to “I’m On Fire” on a Sunday night: a tradition unlike any other.

Link us to that personal playlist, man. We’re stronger together. You know that.

Not to put you on blast, but you kind of mailed it in with the photo too.

This. is. how. you. Panic. Room.

Those eyes.

Still drunk from brunch at 8 p.m.? Nah, need to sort that out. A 4 p.m. nap should knock the wind right out of that buzz.

Mad respect.

Not really much you can do when you choose the public education life.

Love the meat and cheese spread. Need more charcuterie board submissions and we need them yesterday.

Should’ve gone with some Snake Juice.

You were doing so well until you were “getting sick af.” As someone who had terrors about getting sick last night, I feel you.

Curved TV? Damn, someone got a raise.

That a Boykin Spaniel I’m seeing? 10/10 either way, but 11/10 if true.

OMG OMG OMG.

I respect that your dog couldn’t be concerned with you.

Just wait until he turns 30.

If Elite Daily were to write a headline for this picture, it would be, “This Snoozing Dog Is All Of Us On A Sunday Night” and then include three words of content.

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Will deFries

Will deFries (Twitter / Instagram) is a Senior Writer at Grandex and the world's foremost authority on Sunday Scaries. Email me at will@grandex.co.

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