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Sunday Scaries Panic Room: The Grammys

This is a recurring PGP series. Catch up with all installments of Worse Weekends Than You by visiting the archive. Email your stories to will@grandex.co.

The Sunday Scaries Panic Room Breakdown: The Grammys

Everyone complains about football season being over. Yeah, your Sundays change a bit when you can’t commit to sitting on a couch for hours on end with the stimulation of a bunch of dudes ripping each other’s heads off while you stack fantasy points. But in darkness, there is light. It just so happens that the light comes in the form of celebrities making asses of themselves on national television for three-and-a-half hours while everyone live tweets it.

Last night, The Grammys were no different. I turned brunch into day drinking which eventually just turned into me sitting in front of my television with phone in hand. With a pair of Sunday Shorts from Outdoor Voices on and a Man Outfitters Henley smelling like I had, in fact, been drinking all day, it was off to the Scaries races.

Dog? Grill? Warm enough to be outside in the middle of February? Yeah, things aren’t so bad.

I don’t know what you’re getting into, but I like it. Worst case scenario is you go flats fishing, snag one fish, and get like 60 likes on your Instagram that will eventually turn into a Bumble profile photo.

The only way to minimize Scaries when it comes to driving is to get that drive out of the way as early as humanly possible come Sunday.

Aaaaand that photo is certified wavey.

If you’re a regular reader of the site, you know Ted’s been here before. He’s 1994 Tony Gwynn just lining doubles into the gap. Be like Ted.

Free $500 on a Sunday night? Yeah, you’re doing fine.

Who schedules a Monday dentist appointment and drinks red wine before it? Really hope you had like ten glasses and the hygenist asks why your entire mouth is stained red.

This appears to be a no-pants party, which is actually the best kind of party when elastic waistbands just don’t do it anymore. Good for you, Leah.

Dave only leaves town when he’s summering in Italy, so I don’t know the feeling of being boss-less like you do. Need a whiff of that candle, though.

Love it, love it, love it. If I’m not mistaken, I’m seeing several stemless wine glasses which is the only way to live on Sunday night. You can’t risk a long-stemmed glass tipping over and amplifying your anxieties.

#NeverMissASundayShow

We get it, Shibby. You smoke weed.

Wait, what? Who watches previous seasons of The Bachelorette when there’s an awards show on? Furthermore, who watches previous seasons of The Bachelorette at all?

I’ll never understand why people wear shoes inside that aren’t slippers. The second I walk in the door, kicks are off. Even if they’re Yeezys.

Us as well, Charlie. Us as well.

Dat wood wick tho.

While I want you to upgrade your FIFA game to ’16 or ’17, I’m not going to knock you. I’ve been picking up the sticks for FIFA since ’99 so game recognize game.

“See who they are!”

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Will deFries

Will deFries (Twitter / Instagram) is a Senior Writer at Grandex and the world's foremost authority on Sunday Scaries (Twitter / Instagram). Email me at will@grandex.co.

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