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The Sunday Scaries Panic Room Breakdown: MLK Weekend

This is a recurring PGP series. Catch up with all installments of Worse Weekends Than You by visiting the archive. Email your stories to will@grandex.co.

The Sunday Scaries Panic Room Breakdown: MLK Weekend

I’ve never worked a job where I get Martin Luther King Jr. Day off, and I don’t think I’m alone in that respect. Martin Luther King Jr. Day ranks among the top ten most anxious nights of the year for those of you who actually do get it off. The second you think you’re going to avoid the Sunday Scaries – BOOM! – Monday slaps you in the face like a girl you drunkenly approach at the bar who you forgot you hooked up with months before.

Okay, none of us are suave enough that we’re just hooking up with girls we can’t remember. That’s reserved for The Bachelor‘s Nick Viall who will undoubtedly be curing Scaries tonight for a significant amount of people.

Fortunately, for those who work today just like me, I was around last night to help those in need.

One of the earliest Panic Room tweets we’ve ever received. While “working” on a Sunday (read: take your laptop out in your living room and zone out for an hour) is always somewhat of a help, actually having to travel for work while missing your favorite team take down the mighty Cowboys is no way to live.

Nothing cures your frights quite like a spread of cheese and charcuterie parlayed with a scented candle. Mix in what appears to be a bootleg bottle of red from a vineyard in California and you’ve got yourself a #situation.

A good pair of slippers goes a long way on a long winter’s night. Tall water and a stemless glass of wine don’t hurt either.

Say it with me now: “Going to your parents’ house is like going to an all-inclusive resort.” Sorry about the ‘Boys, though.

(Not really.)

Between this guy’s Chianti Classico and his pullover game, you’d think it was our own David Ruff. But as we can see, we’ve got ourselves a Kansas City Royals fan here who miiiiiight be drinking wine straight out of the bottle.

As someone who saw Blues Brothers way too late in life (c. 2011), my appreciation for it high. Therefore, I couldn’t approve of it more than I currently do for a Sunday night. While I normally stick to rom-coms and documentaries about food, you can’t knock a classic.

I said this last night but I’ll say it again: I can’t tell if moving back into your parents’ house in this situation is a good or bad thing. On one hand, yeah, you can mooch off them for a minute. But on the other… renovations? That could take, like, months. Doesn’t matter, though – with that dog, everything’s alright.

You a pothead, Focker?

For those inquiring, I did clarify whether or not “takeout sushi” meant from a supermarket or from a restaurant. Luckily for all of us, it was from a restaurant. Can’t trust supermarket sushi fish.

Nothing screams “lazy Sunday” like wearing a pair of pants named after an actual athletic activity.

I’ll say to you what I said to Dave when he texted me after the Cowboys game: “You should get hammered drunk like I did after both of those teams effectively ended the Lions season.” There are no Scaries like “getting eliminated from the playoffs” Scaries no matter what the sport.

“Ohhhhhhh, look at the puppy.” – Me talking in that same weird voice we all use while talking to cute dogs.

Man, I felt bad for you until you told me you didn’t have to work today.

Oh no. If you’re reading this, please follow up with me tonight so we all know you’re alive.

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Will deFries

Will deFries (Twitter / Instagram) is a Senior Writer at Grandex and the world's foremost authority on Sunday Scaries (Twitter / Instagram). Email me at will@grandex.co.

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