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The State Of The Union Drinking Game

2012 state of the union hi res

Disclaimer: Following this game directly will result in death, or at the very least, loss of vision. Drink at your own risk. Also, go ahead and call in sick for work tomorrow. C’mon, do it. Do it for #America.

  1. Take a sip each time the camera zooms in on an angry looking older white male.
  2. Shotgun a beer for every Supreme Court Justice you can’t name.
  3. Shot of cheap tequila for every “side eye” or “bitch face” John Boehner gives to President Obama and vice versa.
  4. Laugh or cry into your drink every time “Yes we can!” or “fair share” is said.
  5. Take a sip for each “folks,” “friends,” and “together we can do this.”
  6. Play “Thunder” with your viewing party during every obnoxiously long standing ovation.
  7. Shot of vodka whenever someone stands up and yells “you lie!” (either in your group or on TV).
  8. Shotgun a beer for every mention of the Affordable Care Act.
  9. Sip for every time your mom texts you “Are you watching?! You should be watching.”
  10. Shot of whiskey for every “I thought Beyonce was gonna be here” from someone in your viewing party. Make it a double if she’s actually in attendance.
  11. Kegstand for every “USA” or “God Bless America.”
  12. Chug when the camera pans to a flag.
  13. Sip for every “now, let’s be clear.”
  14. Shot of whatever is closest when your friends inevitably start drunkenly yelling at one another.
  15. Make someone fix you a drink every time Obama says “one percent.”
  16. Chug each time the former Romney staffer in your group starts crying.
  17. Sip for every ceiling point or power point.
  18. Cry into your drink whenever the unemployment rate is mentioned.
  19. Shot of tequila when POTUS is called a communist by someone in your group.
  20. Shot of vodka when he is called a savior by another.
  21. Slow clap for whoever passes out first.
  22. Finish your drink the moment you realize this speech is pointless.
  23. Gatorade for the morning. Tomorrow’s going to be rough.

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Catie Warren

Catie struggles with adulthood and has been celebrating her 21st birthday for the past three years. She attended college in the nation’s capital and to this day is angry that Pit Bull lied to her, as you cannot, in fact, party on The White House lawn. Prior to her success with PGP, Catie was most famous for being featured in her hometown newspaper regarding her 5th grade Science Fair Project for which she did not place. In her spare time, she enjoys attributing famous historical quotes to Marilyn Monroe and getting in fights with thirteen year olds on twitter. Email: catie@grandex.co

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