Initially, I resisted the phenomenon that was the Serial podcast. I mean, why would I want to spend hours upon hours listening to some lady discuss a murder case that I had never heard of when I could spend that time on more important things, like online shoe shopping or binge watching bad reality TV shows? But when I finally caved in during my Christmas break from grad school, I was hooked. Did Adnan do it? Is Jay the shadiest human that ever lived? WHAT ABOUT THE NISHA CALL? When I reached the end of the series, I felt bereft. While Adnan’s case has continued on, the podcast ended and I wondered how was I supposed to fill my time?
Well, that question is now answered. In an email to subscribers of the podcast, Sarah Koenig and Julie Snyder announced yesterday that Season 2 of Serial will come out this fall, with Season 3 following in Spring 2016. After Serial addicts got over the initial excitement of again having something to listen to at the office that doesn’t actually involve work, the question quickly turned to “What will the topics of the new seasons be?” Well, the Serial peeps aren’t saying, aside from stating that, “They’re very different from Season One, but no less interesting to us.” So, in the interest of being helpful, here are some suggestions:
Deflategate: How much did Tom Brady know? Do all people that work for football teams text like 12-year-old girls?
Taylor Swift: Why does anyone date her knowing that she will eventually write an angry song about them? What will happen to her career when she gets married? Why does she carry a cat everywhere?
Life’s Great Mysteries: Why are Trix only for kids? Why do you drive on a parkway and park in a driveway? If you write a blog and no one reads it, does it even exist? Where the hell do all of my missing socks and hair elastics go?
The Bachelorette: Exactly how many dude contestants can you sleep with before they start calling you a slut? Is there anyone there to actually find love as opposed to get famous? And most importantly, what do they use to disinfect the hot tub?
The Guy In The Above Stock Photo: What is he hiding? What’s his deal?
The Eternal Question: Once and for all, does size matter?!
Or, I guess they could go with another true crime story. Probably best to stick with what works..