The Sad Life Of An Instagram Husband

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Are you in an Instagram relationship?

If you are, you might be able to relate to this: The sad lives of Instagram husbands. Gone are the days of normalcy in relationships. Today, it’s all about wedding #hashtags and photos at coffee shops and constant feed scrolling. It’s enough to drive even the sanest person to the brink of capital murder.

Look, I’ll be real honest with you: Instagram and Snapchat are the worst social media platforms out there. At least with Twitter, Facebook, Pinterest, etc., you aren’t dealing with people constantly framing situations for a photograph. The incessant need to make yourself look like you are having more fun than you are is one of the most pathetic practices of our smarmy, self-indulgent generation.

I don’t give a fuck what you are doing, ever. I don’t care what you are eating. I don’t care that you visited Chicago and took a pic with the “bean” in Millennium Park. I don’t care that you asked someone to take a picture of you standing on a beach looking intently at the ocean and attached a Thoreau quote to it. Can you name one thing Thoreau wrote? Heart Of Darkness, right? Wrong, dumbass. That was Joseph Conrad.


If you are in a relationship with someone who is constantly taking photos, good luck dude. You are going to need a six-figure salary just to cover data and storage costs.

Image via YouTube

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