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The Professional Man’s Hairstyle Guide For The Office

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For both men and women, your hairstyle is integral to the look you project in the office. It functions as another piece of clothing, just as much as any tie or pair of slacks. But unless you are a never-nude, your hair is the only piece of clothing you never take off. For men, acceptable hairstyles for the office are fairly limited with some wiggle room allowed for personal preferences. This is definitely a good thing. If you need wild hair to make you unique, you probably aren’t very interesting to begin with.

Acceptable

Side Part

This is a tried and true classic. Most men you see wear this cut for a reason. Would Don Draper command as much respect if he wore frosted tips? The same goes for you cubicle cowboys: Get this cut or your boss might think you’re a disrespectful little shit.

Buzz Cut/Bald

Going bald? Is your hair not as thick and luxurious as it used to be? No problem. Buzz it short or embrace your fate and go full-on Walter White. Don’t waste your time trying to fool everyone with a combover. There’s nothing sadder than a man who hasn’t accepted his fate of baldness.

Frat Shag (Neat)

The frat shag is a high-risk, high-reward style. Some men can pull it off, but most just look silly. The key is to keep it neat without letting it get too shaggy. It’s a cut that says, “I can beat you in billable hours but still out-drink you.”

Power Slick

Behold, the holy grail of office (and outside the office) hairstyles. This style takes serious commitment both to grow and to rock on a daily basis, but the end result is a cut that allows you to intimidate the competition with a single glance. The cherry on the sundae that is the power slick is that your hair slowly loosens as the day goes on, meaning you’ll be the perfect amount of disheveled for credibility at happy hour.

Unacceptable

Combover

Just like when you come back from rushing to the bathroom at happy hour swearing that you didn’t puke, you’re not fooling anyone. Hopefully, no one our age is afflicted with thinning hair so soon, but come your thirtieth birthday, you had better embrace the fact that you’re getting old and shave that shit off.

Long Hair

Get a haircut, Frodo.

Frat Shag (Messy)

This is the flip-side of the frat shag coin. While the frat shag can be a very rewarding hairstyle, it can also make you look like an ass if done wrong. If you let it grow too long or too messy, you’ll look more like Bieber or Dwight Schrute doing a Jim Halpert impersonation.

Any Type Of Spikes

How old are you, ten? No self-respecting man should ever wear spikes past junior high, let alone in the office. No one wants to be seen with the guy who has Peter Pan syndrome.

Image via Shutterstock

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