I once got dumped while my then-girlfriend watched me eat a Chipotle burrito next to the pool at her mom and dad’s house. She had just gotten home from being abroad, and summer was upon us. Full of beans, barbacoa, and tortilla, I was shell-shocked. But looking back on it, it was the perfect time to get dumped. No one likes having a significant other in college as it is, and having one over the summer was pretty much the worst.
But as it turns out, that’s not the time of year you’re statistically most likely to get dumped. Is it top ten? Yes. But number one? Well, it’s right upon us so hold onto yo’ butts.
Two weeks before Christmas is the most likely day to get your ass kicked to the curb as decided by some statisticians who looked at Facebook statuses and posts. And while I thought the only people who actually updated their Facebook relationship statuses anymore were above the age of fifty, I’m actually going to believe this information because it’s incredibly logical.
Look at you. You just got a taste of what being home felt like over Thanksgiving. You were wheeling and dealing at that hometown bar and for that one Wednesday night, you were the cock of the walk. Now? You’re heading back to the ol’ stomping grounds for a week over Christmas because, hey, you’ve got some saved up vacations and flights are expensive. Your ex-girlfriend was looking pretty good but you had a girlfriend so she was off-limits. Now? Well, now that you’re single as of December 11th, you’ve got all the time in the world to fire off one of those, “Great seeing you over Thanksgiving! Going to be back over Christmas?” texts that’s going to lead you to making out in your mom’s driveway come December 23rd.
Parlay that with the fact that you don’t have to buy anyone a gift besides your immediate family? Sign, sealed, delivered. Whoever came up with the concept of cuffing season was the dumbass buying expensive gifts for someone he just met. The genius who promoted his friends to all dump their girlfriends around Christmas a la a reverse American Pie? That’s the guy who gets it. .
[via Mirror UK]
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