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The Michelob Ultra Weekend In Review That Isn’t (Yet) Sponsored By Michelob Ultra

The Michelob Ultra Weekend In Review That Isn't (Yet) Sponsored By Michelob Ultra

To say that it was a long weekend would be an understatement. I almost drowned myself in Michelob Ultras and vodka sodas last Friday and Saturday and I even managed to throw up in a pot of geraniums that I had been harvesting on my back porch.

All in all, it was a great weekend. As most of you know by now, I’ve really been embracing the #UltraLife as of late. Many readers have followed suit in the last few weeks and for that I thank you. Living the Michelob Ultra life is a movement. A revolution of sorts. As Kanye West would say, we’re on a [Michelob] Ultra Light Beam.

Crushing Ultras is a lifestyle choice that I promise you won’t regret, and I can assure you that there is plenty of room onboard the train for anyone who wants in. You guys had a hell of weekend drinking Mich Ultras. The Snapchats and tweets were rolling in all weekend and I’m just so thrilled that everyone is enjoying this low-calorie beer designed specifically with athletes in mind. Let’s have a quick look at those of you who chose to live the #UltraLife this past weekend. God bless.

That outfit, which was rightfully roasted by whoever sent me this snap, is atrocious. The bootcut jeans and grayish Nikes? I threw up in my mouth in a little bit thinking about that kid walking into a party dressed like that. But that sweet, sweet can of Michelob Ultra really makes me re-evaluate the entire picture. If you’ve got a slim can of Michelob Ultra in your hand you can get away with wearing whatever you damn well please.

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God, I miss Rainey Street. #SlimCanNation was out in full effect this weekend. All I could get my hands on in Chicago were longneck bottles. What gives?

I don’t know why, but whenever I think of Kansas City I think of people drinking grain alcohol that they brewed in their backyard. Good on whoever this guy is for grabbing a few Ultras.

I don’t know who this girl is but she snapped me a video of her dancing with a Michelob Ultra and I’d be lying if I told you my pants didn’t get a little tighter.

Artsy as fuck.

Lipstick on the slim can = I’m in love with you.

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The first snap I got of someone on Friday night who wasn’t drinking Michelob Ultras by themselves. Tell your friends about the Ultra Life, you guys. It’s a crime that more people aren’t enjoying this delicious beverage.

Apparently, people were not doing much work last Friday. There isn’t a drink that pairs better with pizza than a frosty Michelob Ultra.

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Baseball and Michelob Ultra. A pairing as old as time.

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Great shirt. 10/10 snap, would look at one from you again.

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Where is everyone getting slim cans from? I’m sick of having to buy the glass bottles because I know I’ll look more athletic with the slim cans. #SlimCanNation stand the fuck up.

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I bet you this guy and Barrett would not get along very well.

This pic is from a party at Miami of Ohio. Go Redhawks.

See? It’s for athletes.

Once you start you can’t stop. It’s science.

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This dude just gets it.

Tigers opening day and a tap of Mich Ultra sounds amazing. I bet there was Kid Rock blaring at that tailgate for hours on end.

Seriously. If Michelob Ultra doesn’t send me some free beer soon I am just going to snap.

Slim. Can. Nation. Stand up. Rep your set.

I guess Michelob Ultra is now the official beer of professional baseball and it’s all thanks to me.

We’re on an Ultralight Beam.

Some people would get offended by the fact that Michelob Ultras are looked at as a “dad” beer. Not me. Anyone can live the Ultra Life. Doesn’t matter how old you are or what your situation is. We’re all just striving to be better, and Michelob Ultra will get us there in due time.

At this point, I don’t understand why you wouldn’t join the club.

I can’t believe someone was playing beer pong with Mich Ultras. College meets entry level.

Nothing will bring you back from the brink of death quite like an ice cold Michelob Ultra.

I think Dillon was drinking N*tural L*ght all weekend at a small golf tournament in Augusta, but props to this kid for passing on keg beer in favor of Ultras.

Seriously, if I don’t find a case of slim cans soon I’m going to be upset.

Sunday Scaries tee shirt? Check. Mich Ultra? Check. Riding a wave all the way into Monday morning? Most definitely.

We had a hell of a goddamn weekend, you guys. That’s all for the Michelob Ultra recap. I hope everyone who chose to live the Ultra Life enjoyed themselves, and if you chose anything other the 95 calorie delight than you can go fuck yourself. See you on Friday. We’re on a Michelob Ultralight beam.

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Johnny D

fashion icon. @dudaronomy on twitter. e-mail: jduda10@gmail.com

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