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The Michelob Ultra Weekend In Review That Isn’t (Yet) Sponsored By Michelob Ultra: Mother’s Day

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I’m listening to Phish’s “A Live One” album and having a debate with myself over whether I should go to the grocery store or just order a pizza. My bedside table has an empty Michelob Ultra on it and I hate myself right now.

This weekend was supposed to be about rest and relaxation. I ended up going out two nights in a row and I had to have consumed at least 24 Michey Mantles in that time period. It’s going to be a two shower day for me as I can still feel booze freely flowing out of my pores.

I got a snap of someone shotgunning a Michelob Ultra at 7:00 a.m. this morning and I legitimately almost puked. You guys are sick, but in a really good way. Call your mom, you degenerates. Let’s get into it.

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Nothing says “Thanks for carrying me in your womb and taking care of me” quite like a case of Michelob Ultra. Is it a mom beer? Absolutely. But it’s also for the modern day sportsman.

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My head hurts just looking at all of those empty Ultras. I need to stop drinking so much every weekend this is unhealthy.

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PSA: Brush your tongue, you guys. Only you can prevent halitosis. Also, sup?

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I think this is photo of the week. Juxtaposition, lighting – this pic has it all. Look at that glass. It’s poetic.

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Every. single. week. Without fail, someone sends me a snap of them at a PGA tour event crushing Mich Ultras. I love it, but just know I’m incredibly jealous.

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This picture begs one question: is Whataburger the most overrated fast food in the world? I’m leaning towards yes.

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Are those deucers?

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If you didn’t take pics of your crawfish boil you didn’t even really crawfish boil.

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My friends are too lazy to ever put together a beer olympics. I’ve always wanted to do one. Smh.

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Room with a motherfucking view. Goddamn.

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The Michelob Ultra roadie. A tradition that I cannot condone under any circumstances.

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Nipple piercings are all the rage right now. Huge fan.

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Call me.

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This is the kind of energy I like to see. Good job, great effort. Your attitude determines your altitude.

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Call me.

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What year is it? People still drink Four Loko?

I got a bucket of Ultras on Friday night and a table full of girls next to us kept calling me a dandy. It was awesome.

Michelob Ultra is the perfect wedding beer. Those two things just fit together perfectly.

If you don’t know, now you know.

Chicago has a glaring lack of public golf courses. I am ITCHING to play.

I’ve said before and I’ll say it again. Athletes only.

This is dope as hell. I would have tried to steal it.

This was a funny video. I don’t think it ever saw the light of day which is probably for the best. The only line I remember saying was “John Duda, writer for PGP. I love cigarettes.”

I’ve heard that too, actually.

That’s all I’ve got for you this weekend. It was a long one and I’m honestly looking forward to work tomorrow. I drank like a fucking fish all weekend and my body needs a break. Drink responsibly.

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Johnny D

fashion icon. @dudaronomy on twitter. e-mail: jduda10@gmail.com

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