Columns

The Michelob Ultra Weekend In Review That Isn’t (Yet) Sponsored By Michelob Ultra: Independence Day

Screen Shot 2017-07-02 at 10.48.38 AM

Did you guys forget about me? Yeah, I missed last weekend’s weekend in review. Circumstances were out of my control on that one.

But it’s July 3rd as I type this and I had to get this post up today because the response has, once again, been absolutely overwhelming.

I know I say this in just about every Michelob Ultra Weekend In Review, but I swear I’ve gotten more snapchats and tweets about people drinking Ultras than I ever have before.

How I haven’t been sponsored for this shit is beyond me, but at this point I’m just going to keep doing these reviews until they literally have no choice but to give me some sort of monetary compensation.

Let’s get into it. July 4th should be a hell of a day. I’m dedicating this review to any of you poor bastards reading this from a cubicle. It’s downright criminal that any office made their employees come into today.

IMG_0767

Pretty good picture here. 10/10 on execution. When you have the opportunity to double fist a cactus lime and OG ultra you take that chance every time.

IMG_0795

I promise I’ll stop bitching about this after this picture, but Jesus H. Christ Michelob Ultra. #SponsorDuda. I’m a starving artist that makes you millions every week with your most important demographic. My e-mails, phone calls, and desperate tweets have gone ignored long enough. Show me the money. SHOWWWWWWW MEEEEEEE THE MONEEEEYYYYYYY!

IMG_0797

This looks like a backporch drinking situation. Very chill.

IMG_0815

Why are you using a driver from the 70s? If you showed up in my foursome with that club you’d be ridiculed to a point where you would be forced to go home. Get it together.

IMG_0817

I won’t lie to you. I even tweeted about this. Zima seems to be cornering the exact demographic that I’ve been targeting with this Mich Ultra campaign. At first I was sweating them. Now I’m embracing them. Zima and Mich Ultra can co-exist. They’re totally different beverages. One is for athletes, the other is a gimmicky malt beverage that will only be used to, for lack of a better term, “ice” people. Keep doing your thing, Zima. You’re no threat to my empire.

IMG_0818

Mich Ultra does a great job with their marketing. That website is great.

IMG_0819

Your child is safe. You’re an upstanding citizen.

IMG_0820

I wasn’t even sure I should post this one. I have to assume you crack Ultras at work which is probably not allowed. I don’t know who reads these reviews. If your boss sees this you’d be outed. Let’s hope that doesn’t happen. I love this move, it’s just insane. You’re an insane person. Keep doing you.

IMG_0821

Chill sitch.

IMG_0822

What in the hell is going on here? 30 racks of Ultra? Do I need to go to like Puerto Rico to get this or what?

IMG_0823

I stayed in on Friday and watched a movie. I knew what this weekend was going to do to my body. Best decision I made all weekend was not moving a goddamn muscle Friday night.

IMG_0824

What self-respecting mom doesn’t have Ultras cooled down for visitors? Before it was a drink for athletes, it was a soccer mom beer, and in no way is that depressing.

IMG_0825

Got a good chuckle out of this one. Thanks for brightening my day.

IMG_0827 2

Vacation Will getting in some quality time with a Mich Ultra before his flight to Michigan. Enjoy every minute of it. Best state in the union.

IMG_0828

Yeah, sure why not? A marg and an ultra never killed anyone.

IMG_0829

I don’t say this often but it’s appropriate here. Bud Light got cucked hard here.

IMG_0830

Garage beers are always encouraged. I rarely get to enjoy them because hardly anyone here in Chicago has garages, but I can live vicariously through you.

IMG_0831

I was on my high school’s first ever bowling team my senior year. It was an excuse for me and a couple of my friends to smoke the devils lettuce and split like four beers between six people but I actually got pretty good at bowling. Challenge me, sometime. On a totally unrelated note, you guys need to start sending me croquet snaps, too. I’ll play anyone, anywhere, anytime. I’m a croquet god.

IMG_0843

I put this one in here for obvious reasons. #SponsorDuda

IMG_0844

Glad to see people are taking my advice. I’m having a vodka water as I type this. My friend is en route to my place with a fresh case of Mich Ultra and we’re headed to the beach. Going to be a good one.

IMG_0845

#Would

IMG_0846

Casual shade. Love it.

IMG_0847

Find your beach. And by that I mean drink a Michelob Ultra.

IMG_0848

Not sure the tie bar is necessary. Less is more, my man. I hope you enjoyed that cactus lime, though. My mouth is salivating just looking at it.

IMG_0849

This guy got the featured image a few weeks back. Such an absurd koozie. He sent me another one and I though to myself “let’s post it again.”

IMG_0850

Jesus Christ. Busch light needs to just go away. I used to shotgun those things with reckless abandon as a college kid.

IMG_0852

Good God. Looks amazing.

IMG_0853

This is a classic Mich Ultra snap. The juxtaposition of the can and the trees in the background is majestic to look at.

IMG_0854

Some of the worst facial hair I’ve ever seen. I bet you’re really stoked for the Daytona 500.

IMG_0856

I still haven’t bought a fidget spinner. Really need to get one.

IMG_0857

Pretty dank bag.

IMG_0858

I paid fourteen dollars for one of those at a show on Saturday night. I complained about it but it was delicious going down.

IMG_0859

#AthletesOnly. #SponsorDuda.

I’m going to leave you on that note. There’s a lot of drinking left to do on this long weekend and I need to get my ass to the beach. Happy fourth, everyone.

Email this to a friend

Johnny D

fashion icon. @dudaronomy on twitter. e-mail: jduda10@gmail.com

4 Comments You must log in to comment, or create an account
Show Comments

For More Photos and Content

Latest podcasts

Download Our App

Take PGP with you. Get

New Stories

Load More