Bill Clinton redefining “sexual relations.”
George W. Bush calling out Al Qaeda from the tee box.
Ronald Reagan telling Gorbachev what’s what.
Harry Truman dropping the hammer on the Japanese, crowning America as back-to-back World War champions and giving the rest of the world the throat-slash gesture.
George Washington crossing the Delaware on Christmas.
Thomas Jefferson telling the French to buzz off, then buying half of the country for pennies on the dollar.
FDR telling Americans to take it easy and spend more time on the golf course, establishing social security.
Teddy Roosevelt digs a big hole in Central America so the real America doesn’t have to spend so much damn money getting our high quality goods to the rest of the world.
Dwight Eisenhower builds the Interstate highway system with his bare hands, increasing the convenience of road travel in the US, while turning the lower 48 into an impenetrable fortress at the same time.
James Polk goes to war with Mexico for shits ‘n gigs, comes back with California, Arizona, Nevada, Utah and parts of New Mexico, Wyoming and Colorado 21 months later.
Andrew Jackson beating the shit out of the guy who tried to assassinate him.
“And they’ll push, and I’ll say no, and they’ll push again, and I’ll say, to them, ‘Read my lips: no new taxes.’”
Teddy Roosevelt finishing his speech even after getting shot.
Barry O capping Bin Laden.
JFK having Marilyn Monroe as a side piece.
JFK destroying the Soviets in the space race.
Harry Truman signing the Marshall Plan, telling Europe “Hey, sorry for the mess” after WW2.
John Adams and Thomas Jefferson telling George III that if he’s not down with taxation with representation, they’ve got 1,137 words for him…