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The Golf Polo Is The Most Important Deal-Closing Shirt In Your Closet

The Golf Polo Is The Most Important Deal-Closing Shirt In Your Closet

Like many reading this, I’ve spent my postgrad years trying to curate an acceptable wardrobe for a mid-20s guy in the business world. I didn’t dress like too much of a bum, so after some weeding out I was left with an acceptable wardrobe base. From that point, you’ve got to keep making quality additions. A blazer here, dress shirt there. Maybe throw in a pair of deal sleds on occasion. In the postgrad world, you’ve gotta look good to play good, and unless your name is John Duda and your aesthetic is normcore, you better put your best foot forward when you walk out of the house.

Now if you’ve got the means, I highly recommend just dropping a ton at some combo of Man Outfitters, Brooks Brothers, or whatever clothing outlet best suits you and fill a closet that would make Jay Gatsby envious. However, if you’re anything like me, owning that kind of budget just isn’t happening anytime soon. You need practicality and functionality out of your clothing. You need a utility item. You need to stack your closet with golf shirts.

The golf shirt is the Swiss Army Knife of men’s clothing. A decent golf shirt isn’t going to break your bank and it’s going to be a staple of your wardrobe for almost any occasion. They may not be the nicest or most revered members of your closet, but when you’re in need, the golf shirt is there to be your wingman.

It’s common knowledge that 69% of all business happens while golfing, and it’s also common knowledge that 0% of that business happens when the seller looks like trash. When I say “golf shirt,” I don’t mean “That fucking abomination Bubba Watson was wearing on Sunday.”

Looking like trash only makes your 95 look worse, and you definitely aren’t getting business done on the links. Invest in some good looking shirts, because you’re taking these babies out for a spin on multiple racetracks.

Unless you’re in an office where you’ve gotta throw on the suit and tie for forty hours a week, there’s no better office shirt choice than your dry-fit golf polo. It should be criminal for something that comfortable to also pass as business casual and look good. Plugging away at your desk or fielding calls in your golf polo lets everyone know that you value being relaxed but you’re not going to mail in your appearance either.

That dry-fit polo is the key to your success outside of work too. Rock one of those babies at the office and you’ll never be over-dressed or under-dressed for happy hour. That shirt is your version of Goldilocks inhaling Little Bear’s porridge; it’s just right. Need to attend any sort of public function? Play it professional and safe with some Under Armour or Travis Mathew. Shameless plug? Yep, but it had to happen.

I don’t think I’ve attended a single one of my son’s school functions in anything but a golf polo. Nothing’s worse than sweating through a bunch of toddlers blabbing Christmas songs because you wore a button down. Are there occasions to get dressed to the nines? Sure, but more often than not business casual will be the way to go.

The comfort is really where the utility of the golf shirt comes out to shine. Forgot your tee to work out in? Well, you sweat out toxins every Saturday in your golf polo, so you might as well do it at the gym too. Lying on the couch on a Sunday fighting off scaries? There’s not a more comfortable collared shirt to take a nap in than that golf polo you threw on earlier.

Whoever thought, “You know what, I’m gonna throw a collar on a dry-fit tee shirt and it’s instantly gonna be business casual” is in the same class as the guy who thought, “You know what, I’m going to upload porn on the internet and instantly everyone’s going to be able to watch much more porn.” Both visionaries who made all lives better. Next time you’re upgrading your wardrobe, load that bitch up with golf shirts and thank me later.

Image viaL.E.MORMILE / Shutterstock.com

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Kyle Bandujo

The artist formerly known as Crash Davis. Dad humor all day every day.

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