Every couple has their “how we met” story. Maybe you both reached for the same head of broccoli at the farmer’s market, were stuck in line at the local coffee shop on a particularly slow day, were introduced by friends, or you met on Tinder.
For me, I was on the tail end of a five-day bender in honor of finishing grad school. A mutual friend was visiting and I couldn’t not go see the guy. We were introduced by said mutual friend JD and for the rest of the night, now Mrs. Madoff tried to relentlessly use her girl-card to attempt to acquire free drinks (she was way too drunk for more booze). Towards the conclusion of a night filled with sloppy dancing, I told her, “I’m heading home you can come if you want.” She slept over, we had the awkward “what do we do now” moment when we woke up, and then I suggested driving across state lines to go to Waffle House after knowing her for 10 hours. So, you know the foundation is rock solid. For me, it’s been a breath of fresh air, mainly due to her willingness to party and do fun things with me.
Postgrad relationships are a weird animal. Like the commentary in Wedding Crashers where Vince Vaughan went on a long diatribe about why he hates dating, I feel it has become even more complicated. Many of my idiot friends have latched onto the first guy or girl willing to commit to “being a couple” while neglecting the obvious red flags. Some people are more willing to jump into something, whereas others want to play the field, waiting for a Mr. or Mrs. Perfect that does not exist. Others stay in their relationship because it is “comfortable” and the world is a big scary place. This is a precarious situation that many run blindly into and come out the other side chewed up, spit out and jaded as hell (I should know because I’ve done it).
Having commonalities on a variety of levels is a very underappreciated trait. The adage, “opposites attract” is pure garbage outside of magnets (how do they work?). In college, I dated a girl that didn’t like to go out or do anything outside of reading “Game of Thrones.” We were often “complimented” that her quiet demeanor and my outgoing personality “went well,” but I hated it. I felt trapped, and I needed someone to do stuff with. Cue a large blowout fight, break up and an ugly friend division. We’ve all stayed too long in a relationship, but being young and stupid often lends itself to dragging your feet.
Alcohol has often been the cause of and solution to most of my life problems, so the fact that we met under such circumstances is par for the course. As someone well versed in the postgrad party, it’s nice to have someone who enjoys a good time, whether it be tailgating, a friendly get together or a good ol’ fashioned rager. We have many other things in common, but being able to let loose together has led to many bonding moments, like carrying her a mile home on my back due to a blown out flip flop, drunkenly finding and helping a stranded horseshoe crab in Ocean City and our yearly traditions like Shibmas/Thanksoween/etc. We’ve had blow out fights and drunken heart-to-hearts, but it’s safe to say that the couple that parties together, stays together.
I firmly believe in spending time together fucked up and that partying together has grown our relationship. Maybe it’s how I was raised: my parents would often go out together and on more than one occasion, I had to DD. They would often go out separately and end up at the same place or meet at home; no jealousy, no “where have you been?”, just two people in search of a good time. Life is too short to not live a little every once in a while, together..