Have you guys heard this song called “Paris” by The Chainsmokers? As Drew Taggart’s best friend and confidant, I was one of the first 25,000 people to hear this song when it was officially released on Spotify. It’s not a huge deal, but it’s worth noting because I’m Drew Taggart’s best friend.
The song immediately set Twitter on fire to the point where Twitter execs held a meeting and said, “Should we shut the site down because all anyone wants to tweet about anymore is how flames this ‘Paris’ song is by The Chainsmokers?” Fire tweets about ‘Paris’ include, but are not limited to, the following:
Seriously, when I say “everyone” was tweeting about it, I mean everyone was tweeting about it. As Drew Taggart’s best friend, my mentions were an abomination of people asking me what I thought about this song. My hands, calloused and bloody, cracked my iPhone screen after wailing on it trying to respond with flame emojis. My personal attempts begging Twitter to expand their character count so I could include more flame emojis fell on flat ears as I was told, “Will, we’re sorry, but because The Chainsmokers have already melted the internet by way of releasing ‘Paris,’ we can’t possibly get our developers to code this given the state that their computers are in.”
Today, the 17th day of February in the year 2017, the entire landscape of music changed when The Chainsmokers decided to unleash what is being called “the greatest video in the history of videos on the internet” onto the internet: the official ‘Paris’ video.
MTV held an immediate press conference this morning assuring the world that they would not, in fact, be canceling this year’s VMAs despite the fact that they’ve already awarded every Moon Man award to The Chainsmokers for their ‘Paris’ video. Their statement went as follows:
We, the authority on all things Good Music™, have no plans to cancel this year’s MTV VMAs despite the fact that The Chainsmokers just released a video that is the only other possible visual representation of the “fire” emoji. Measures are being taken to ensure that other artists will be recognized for their efforts at this year’s Video Music Awards, but we would be remiss to not award them with every honor at this year’s awards. While we will allow Beyonce her allotted fifteen-minute performance in the middle of the show, every other musical performance will be The Chainsmokers performing their entertainment altering hit, “Paris.”
The MTV representative then dabbed on-stage and walked off with his fingers pointing to the sky thanking God for allowing ‘Paris’ to be created as a song before pounding his chest saying, “out on the terrace…” and crowd-surfing his way to his lime green Kia Soul that was, obviously, playing Paris through an external speaker mounted to the top of the vehicle. .