The Carolina Panthers, God’s gift to mankind, are essentially unstoppable.
After beating Seattle 31-24 on Sunday, a game the Panthers lead 31-0 at halftime, head coach Ron Rivera delivered some bad news to the team. No more of those damn hoverboards in the locker room.
“You’re going to slip and fall and knock a tooth out!”
Ron Rivera on banning players' hover boards: "They were drag racing them in the fricken hallway!" #Panthers
— Zach Groth (@ZachFox46) January 18, 2016
Ron Rivera bans hoverboards in the team facility after seeing players drag racing. "We're trying to limit exposure to injury."
— Eric Adelson (@eric_adelson) January 18, 2016
Here is Panthers quarterback Cam Newton boarding against traffic in November.
Cam Newton on a hover board! and totally dissed the guys hand😂 pic.twitter.com/hMlVQlspnl
— Abi Webb (@abiwebb25) November 29, 2015
Look, old man Rivera is right. If the Panthers want a legit shot at the Lombardi trophy, they’re going to have to stop drag racing around the damn locker room. I get it, man. They’re 16-1 — the most loved team in all of sports. In a league plagued with drug abuse and domestic violence, the only reason people knock on the Panthers is because they smile and dance and have too much fun.
But this…this is dangerous. And let’s leave it up to Rivera, henceforth known as Coach Dad, to take away our toys because he loves us and wants the best for us.
We may not understand it now, but Coach Dad knows. Those things can catch on fire! He saw it on his Facebook feed once! We can’t have any players catching fire before the NFC Championship. That’s not going to fly.
The Panthers host Arizona on Sunday at 6:40 p.m. EST. Assuming no key players suffer gruesome Daytona 500-esque hoverboard injuries, it looks like they’ll have a real shot at playing in Santa Clara in February. .
Image via YouTube