It’s finally here: the newest season of the Real Housewives of Orange County has arrived, and I could not be more excited. I’m ready to break out the Jesus Juice and watch six variations of Regina George’s mom battle it out for title of the richest and hottest housewife (though some of them aren’t really housewives, or wives at all, so the title is admittedly misleading). As a faithful RHOC-er since the first season in 2006, this week’s Season 11 premiere has got me feeling a little nostalgic.
One of my favorite parts of the series has always been the opening taglines where the housewives can assert their wit and sum up their
lack of personality in one simple sentence. And when it comes to the new girls, RHOC taglines can make or break their success on the show. So in honor of the new season, here’s a rundown of the best taglines from each season of RHOC.
Kimberly Bryant: “85 percent of the women around here have had breast implants.”
I’m a big fan of calling it like it is, especially when you’ve got the chest to back it up, so the housewife who was only around for the first season gets the nod here.
Tammy Knickerbocker: “I don’t let my kids or my exes drive me crazy.”
While I don’t have kids of my own, I do know a thing or two about exes. Given that, I respect Tammy’s attitude on this one.
Tamra Judge: “I’m the hottest housewife in Orange County.”
Tamra was the new girl on this season but she wasted no time declaring herself queen of the group. Power move.
Vicki Gunvalson: “I want the power and the money, and I want them both.”
Vicki has never been a favorite of mine, but somehow her taglines are always pretty strong. Pair that with particularly boring competition from this season (e.g. Gretchen Rossi’s “I love the bling, I love the jewelry, I love it all”) and we’ve got ourselves a winner.
Alexis Bellino: “Am I high maintenance? Of course I am, look at me.”
I always appreciate another girl who openly admits what a pain in the ass she is.
Alexis Bellino:“God is my savior, my husband is my king, and my body? It’s sinful.”
This is one of the best taglines from any season of any of the Housewives franchises, ever. Alexis’s Bible-thumping was rather annoying but it works well for her tagline in her second season on the show.
Heather Dubrow—“I may be married to a plastic surgeon, but I’m 98 percent real.”
Heather is strong out of the gate with her first opener and let’s us all know there’s nothing wrong with a little ~upkeep~.
Vicki Gunvalson: “I’m my own boss and it’s time for a raise.”
Vicki is back on the list with this ode to her hugely successful insurance business, though I am surprised she didn’t choose to make a reference to multiple partners for her Season 8 intro.
Heather Dubrow—“You may think I have it all, but I’m just getting started.”
Honestly, Season 9’s taglines were pretty boring but this one annoyed me the least.
Vicki Gunvalson—“I’m the OG of the OC. Everyone else is just a copy.”
She’s the queen bee, the star. The other girls are just her little workers.
Heather Dubrow—“If at first you don’t succeed, try it my way.”
This is the ultimate Momism™ and represents everything I want to be when I’m older. Heather is my favorite OC housewife because she is so subtly bitchy, and everything about this line is gold.
Bravo might as well call this the Vicki and Heather Show based on the last few seasons, and I can’t wait to see what season number 11 has in store..
[Image via YouTube]