Columns

The Best Random Jobs On Craigslist This Week: Skinnin’ Gators And Shootin’ Smut

The Best Random Jobs On Craigslist This Week: Skinnin' Gators

Did your long term job with Fyre Fest suddenly disappear faster than you can say “Why the fuck would anyone pay 5-6 figures to go to a festival organized by Ja Rule?” Well, better hit Craigslist and get back out there.

From San Diego, CA: Sick Of Your Boss Making Twice As Much As You Do With 1/2 The Brains?

Highly encourage everyone to pull this up on a co-workers computer when they leave for lunch and leave it up for anyone who walks past their cube to see.

From Las Vegas, NV: **Got Heavy Menstrual Bleeding?**

The phone call answering this ad would be a real doozy. Sweet Jesus, that headline just goes right to the point.

From San Diego, CA: Do you have Fibromyalgia?

The job market just seems to getting more and more difficult for new grads. Seems like you need 3+ years of experience and a graduate degree for anything. Let’s hope not all jobs start requiring Fibromyalgia or we’re really screwed.

From Washington DC: 1989 Cleaner

Using this ad to pass on a moment of business idea inspiration. There’s no place more miserable and boring than the dry cleaner or laundry mat, right?

Boom, laundry mat that just plays T-Swift’s “1989” album on repeat, serves mimosas, and has selfie stations set up. Anyone who bought Fyre Fest tickets would definitely pay $40 per load of laundry for that.

From Palm Beach, FL: Alligator Processor

Fucking Florida, man.

EXPERIENCED processor for skinning, cutting and packaging alligators. Peace-work as well as hourly pay.

Classic Florida, paying you by the gator and spelling “piece” like “peace.”

From Chicago, IL: Legal Videographer

I feel like you’d come home from this job wide-eyed every single day.

You will spend a lot of time in high-pressure situations where all eyes are on you.

Yeah, like when you have to take a deposition from something like the OJ case.

From Boston, MA: farm laborer

This is one of those great complete change of pace jobs, a la Peter in Office Space. If you feel like your eyes are melting staring at a computer for nine hours a day, go get some fresh air on a farm in Massachusetts. And there are other benefits:

Get paid to stay in shape!

Getting paid to stay in shape isn’t just for athletes, guys. You’d really up your chances at the bar with your farmer strength as opposed to every office drone showing off their beer belly.

Job Of The Week

From Las Vegas, NV: Become a filmmaker in Las Vegas and we train you for free

Wanna be the next Scorsese? Well they’re training them for free in Vegas! Sounds legit.

That means director, director of photography, script supervisor, grip, gaffer, editor. Well we train every position for free and make it possible for you to direct and/or write your own film and get it into production.

All those stories about people struggling to make movies for so long, and all they needed was this Craigslist job to show them how. Talk about a great opportunity.

We meet every other Tuesday with al actors, writers, and filmmakers in the program. This is where we plan and start our films. If you join you will be assigned to a film within two weeks.

Wait, what the hell kind of movie gets off the ground in two weeks and oh shit this is a porn film ad isn’t it.

Email this to a friend

Kyle Bandujo

The artist formerly known as Crash Davis. Dad humor all day every day.

1 Comments You must log in to comment, or create an account
Show Comments

For More Photos and Content

Latest podcasts

Download Our App

Take PGP with you. Get

New Stories

Load More