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The 6 Types Of Sex Dreams That Girls Have

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While I can only speak for my gender, I imagine some of these may overlap with a man’s nighttime fantasies, too.

1. The “I Hate This Person, But He Was The Best Sex I’ve Ever Had” Dream
Whether he was a one time hookup, your ex boyfriend, or a public figure who in real life you loathe for being a democrat, this person is an asshole. You may hate everything he stands for, disagree with every single one of his opinions, and find him generally repulsive as a human, but the sexual chemistry between you two, whether in real life or imagined, is undeniable. This dream is HOT. You wake up sweating and satisfied until you realize you are actually angry with yourself for dreaming about something so fabulous with such a piece of shit person.

2. The “Totally Forbidden And Consequently Scandalous” Dream
This kind of fantasy revolves around someone who under no circumstances you will ever get to have sex with. It may be your hot professor from four years ago, your best friend’s fiancé, or your married boss. Despite the situation, this person is totally off limits, which naturally makes the dream even more tantalizing. You’ll never get to find out if he really is secretly into devil’s threesomes or foot play. We always want what we can’t have, and with our subconscious playing devil’s advocate, this is kind of a win-win situation. Sex dreams about these untouchables are a rare yet wonderful, guilt free experience.

3. The Confusing “Ew, I Can’t Believe I Dreamed About Him, I Don’t Even Like Him” Dream
These dreams are difficult to explain to say the least. I must say, though, I’ve personally had a fair number of sex dreams about people I swore I wasn’t attracted to in real life. I’m also pretty sure I’m not attracted to them even at a subconscious level. Anyway, maybe you happened to run into him that day or someone casually mentioned his name at happy hour. Regardless, your brain gave the finger to your personal preferences and “dream you” certainly didn’t seem to mind getting boned by this jerkoff last night. This causes unnecessary anxiety and previously unthinkable questions: “Do I secretly have a thing for this guy?” or “Oh, my God, does some part of me actually find him appealing?”

4. The “Am I Actually A Lesbian?” Dream
I’m pretty sure I only like guys–or, at least I was until about five minutes ago, after I woke up from being dry humped by Sandra Bullock. Yes, I find her attractive, and while I didn’t think leggy, brunette women were my thing, I guess I could be open to it. Gender binaries are a myth, and girls are prettier anyway.

5. The “Headless Man” Dream
This person could literally be anyone, because you never get to see his face. It’s either too dark or his features are blurred, but who cares? This person causing you to cum repeatedly in your sleep is clearly an object your brain dreamed up for your own personal pleasure. This also means it’s probably time to get laid in real life, girlfriend.

6. The “Hot Guy I’ve Fantasized About For Forever” Dream
It doesn’t matter if he’s your college crush, your boyfriend of three years, that guitar player you were secretly obsessed with while dating a drone working in finance, or Ryan Gosling himself. This is the best kind of sex dream ever. While you may daydream about this person all the time, it’s an unexpected and delightful surprise to have surreal, virtual sexy time with him while you’re asleep. Whether you know exactly what he’s like in bed and you can’t get enough or you’ve fantasized so hard you think you know exactly what he’s like in bed, this is just the greatest thing ever–although, waking up is possibly the worst.

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Lyla Garrity

After dumping her high school beau, Tim Riggins, Lyla transferred from Vanderbilt to the most expensive university in Texas and recently graduated only to conclude she is too pretty to spend the next four years slaving away in medical school. With a now worthless Biology degree she’ll be attending business school starting this fall. Her pastimes include cheerleading, brunching, and frequenting pretentious Dallas bars on the weekends.

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