Nothing really screws up a potentially decent day at work like a shitty commute. Thanks to states handing out drivers licenses like candy on Halloween, there are plenty of idiotic, unsafe, semi-conscious, irresponsible drivers out there to really screw up your day. Even the most basic rules of the road are thrown to the wind because what are bad drivers going to do, die in an accident? Probably. Here are the worst moves pulled by drivers during your commute.
1. Not Obeying Left Lane Rules
I think we can all agree that this is the worst of the worst, and it causes more accidents than speeding. The only reason to be in the left lane is if you are moving faster than cars to your right or taking a lefthand exit, fork, or left turn within the next half mile. That’s it. Slow drivers in the fast lane force faster drivers to suddenly slow down, change lanes, and maneuver to keep traffic flowing. These create situations more likely to cause accidents. Accidents create traffic backups. Accidents and traffic backups ruin your commute and by the time you get to work you want to murder someone.
2. Not Holding Their Lane and Driving Slow
I put these two together because they are usually caused by the same thing—distracted driving. Even if you are in the middle or right lane, not keeping up with the flow of traffic is dangerous and irritating. Usually, these people are texting, doing their makeup or other grooming, or are on their phone and are mentally incapable of such multitasking. If you can’t even drive the speed limit and hold your lane while doing these things, save it for the parking lot. States have made it worse by outlawing texting. Unintentional consequences. People are going to text and drive no matter what. When they could hold up their phone in front of their windshield and text, they still sucked, but it was much less dangerous than texting in their lap to hide from the cops and having their eyes completely off the road. Sure, you can usually drive around these people…unless you are blocked by a slow driver in the left lane.
3. People Who Stay in the Wrong Lane Until the Last Moment
I literally encounter this every commute at the same intersection. The intersection has not changed for years. The right turn lane is exit only. It’s been exit only for years and years and years. The signs mark it as exit only. But idiots still insist on staying in that lane and then blocking it while trying to merge back into normal traffic. I do try my best to scare sense into these people by driving my truck as close as possible to them and leaning on my horn. Sometimes people need a wakeup call. In my moments of road rage I’ve considered getting a bull bar to tap them a little, but I’ll just be a social justice martyr with an unfavorable court appearance. Not on my bucket list.
4. People Who Don’t Go When the Light is Green
Nothing will ruin your commute quite like missing a light or almost missing a light because some dumbass is staring at his or her phone or is yielding to left turns when they have the right of way. You have the right of way. You can go. The light is green. Why are you yielding? Go, asshole! And get off your damn phone and pay attention to the light. I’m getting angry just thinking about it.
5. People Who Swing Out Before Making Turns
Get the hell out of my lane. You’re driving a Prius, not an 18 wheeler. I don’t need a reason to maneuver into another lane because you think you need another three feet between you and the curb. I think you’ll be okay.
Dishonorable Mention: Bikers
Not exactly drivers, but nonetheless another annoying obstacle to your commute. Some Lance Armstrong wannabe wants to put on some bulge-hugging spandex and ride on the road in the name of fitness. How about fitness bumper in your back tire and throwing your face into the asphalt. There are bike paths popping up everywhere, get off the road. .