When your boss first gave you the delightful opportunity to become the “intern supervisor,” you thought it was going to be the best thing to ever happen to you at work. False. Get ready for the emotional rollercoaster that will begin on your interns’ first day. They may only be at your office for a semester, but trust me, it will seem longer and be more frustrating than that time you tried to enroll in Obamacare.
You actually get to be the boss of someone? This is so cool. You’re going to make them get you coffee, make copies for you, and basically be your servants while you’re at work. You can actually use the word “peasant” and mean it! And you finally get to make some eager, naïve college kids go through all the shitty “duties” that you had to endure during your multiple college internships. You wonder how fast you’ll be able to break them.
As it turns out, your boss won’t let you make them bring you coffee or get you lunch. On top of that, you realized after the first day of “supervising” that several of your new interns are totally useless and are actually just in the way 99 percent of the time. If you’re lucky, you will get a few interns who are smart, capable, and willing to learn all the aspects of your job. But let’s face it: nothing is ever easy in life, so of course you’re going to get the short end of the intern stick. By the end of their first week, not only are you totally disappointed, but also ready to lock that one completely clueless intern into a windowless room and force him or her to listen to “Wrecking Ball” for 12 straight hours.
But seriously, how did that intern even get this job? Did she flash her boobs during the interview? Did he tell your boss he could get him perks at the country club? You are honestly astounded that these people actually made it through the hiring process for the internship. Even if you were allowed to make this intern bring you coffee, he or she would find a way to screw it up. “Yeezus, please help me through these difficult and trying times,” you think.
The longer the interns are there, the more you realize just how little you do. Not only do you barely have any work to give them, but you begin to fear your boss will also see how unimportant your job is and fire you immediately. Your only choice is to give the interns half of your workload and twiddle your thumbs while you pretend to be busy the other seven hours of the day. You are also beginning to worry that your boss will actually hire the idiot intern who doesn’t know how to copy someone on an email, yet somehow learned the art of sucking up to authoritative figures.
They get a week off for spring break. That’s it, I’m done. OVER IT.