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The 4 Different Kinds Of Stupidity You Encounter In The Office

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1. The person with no common sense whatsoever.

This is the man or woman who you can’t believe made it through college without dying in some sort of freak accident or by doing something stupid on a dare. Also, you can’t believe they actually passed enough classes to get their college degree. This person astounds you with just how little they know, on how to do their own jobs and just life in general. They don’t know how to make a pot of coffee, and they also don’t know how to input data into an Excel spreadsheet without asking you for help five times per hour. No matter the task, you can rely on this person to screw it up, and then shrug their shoulders and laugh.

Catchphrase: “Oops! *Laughs* Hey, can you help me with this…?”

2. The person who doesn’t even remotely understand technology.

For us millennials working in offices with middle-aged or older coworkers, this is probably the most common type of stupidity we have to deal with on a daily basis. These are also some of the most frustrating people to deal with, as many of them don’t have a willingness to actually try and learn “technology.” For instance, I myself have a coworker who I have had to teach not only how to copy and paste a paragraph of text, but who also repeatedly asks me to attach files to emails for him before he sends them on. Instead of letting me show him once or twice and either paying attention or taking notes so he can learn how to do it for himself, he simply makes me do it for him. Every. Single. Time. Oh, and in case you were wondering—I can’t say no, because this guy is my boss.

The frustrating technology questions from the baby boomers who hate us are seemingly never ending—they always need help with something, whether it be learning how to call someone on their iPhone, how to blind copy someone on an email, or to once again explain to them “what a Twitter is”, and we are the ones they rely on for guidance. Even though it’s not part of our job description, if you’re under 30 and you’re in an office, you’re stuck telling these guys how to post a Facebook status for their eight friends until they finally decide to retire.

Catchphrase: “You’re young—you know how to do this, right?”

3. The person with street smarts, but not book smarts.

This person is all about the “life hacks” and cutting corners to breeze through life as easily as possible. They’re actually pretty smart when it comes to having common sense and knowing how to navigate through “the real world”, but when it comes to understanding work assignments, things can get a little muddled for them. They may have trouble understanding the instructions of the project or need extra explanations before they can get started. Though they can be frustrating to teach at times, it’s better to have someone with street smarts then someone with no smarts at all.

Catchphrase: “Can you read this for me and then tell me what I have to do?”

4. The person who has connections, but not a brain.

The only reason this person is in your office is because his/her daddy got them the job. Remember how you had to send in a resumé and cover letter, and then do the phone interview, and then interview in person two more times before you got offered the job? Yeah, this person didn’t have to do any of it, because Dad knows the CEO and has told him all about how great you are. This person’s mother or father also probably helped them get into college, which would explain why they are zero percent smart and 100 percent incompetent at their job. What’s worse is knowing that they probably get paid just as much as you, if not more. Though of course there are plenty of people with connections who are smart, there are also plenty of people who have been able to coast through their entire lives because of their lovely connections and now have rotted brains from relying on said connections instead of their brain.

Catchphrase: “Like they say, it’s all about who you know!”

God, grant us the serenity to accept the stupidity of people we can’t change, the courage to tell the people we can, and the wisdom to not talk about them behind their backs until we’re at happy hour.

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chelseadish

The human form of the 100 emoji.

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