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The 30 Most Single Things That Can Happen To A Single Person

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A lot of single people complain about being single, but being single is not that bad. You have the freedom to do what you want, when you want, how you want without having to get input from someone you want to make happy. The only time being single sucks is when you find yourself in a situation so embarrassingly, stereotypically single that you’re actually made conscious of it. Something that would almost never happen if you were in a healthy relationship. The following list is full of things so mortifyingly “single” that if they happen to you on a regular basis, you have a God-given right to be pissed about being single.

  1. Devouring your lunch like a savage alone in your car, while watching a TV show on iTunes.
  2. Texting alone at the bar with an open tab trying to make it look like you have a blooming social life and just needed some “me” time.
  3. Drunk texting your exes and ex-flings during a Friday night Netflix binge.
  4. Eating a whole pizza by yourself. Literally, a whole pizza.
  5. The look the delivery person gives you when they deliver a pizza and see you are the only person there.
  6. Fifth wheeling when going out.
  7. If you have a roommate, third wheeling daily.
  8. Couples not even bothering to give you a plus one with your wedding invitation
  9. Being chosen to be a groomsman or bridesmaid at multiple weddings because your friends keep trying to set you up with their friends.
  10. “Does she have hot friends?”
  11. Downloading and deleting Tinder multiple times over several months.
  12. Tweeting Tinder screenshots.
  13. Deleting Tinder after getting a puppy.
  14. “How many in your party? Just one?”
  15. Realizing you’ve perfected the art of downsizing recipes to a single serving.
  16. Buying a stack of frozen meals.
  17. Only buying lower body clothing with elastic waist bands.
  18. Leaving a seat open next to you at the movies to make it look like you are waiting for someone.
  19. Not bothering to do laundry.
  20. Buying a single serve coffee maker.
  21. Your boss voluntarily offering you dating advice.
  22. Burping loudly while eating dinner without shame in public.
  23. Farting in your living room and not even acknowledging it.
  24. Eating in bed.
  25. Spending your entire weekend in front of the TV while not wearing pants, surviving solely on frozen dinners and delivery.
  26. Peeing with the door open.
  27. Re-enacting the underwear dancing scene from “Risky Business.”
  28. Your hookup leaving minutes after finishing.
  29. Your mother informing you every time she meets an employed member of the opposite sex around your age range.
  30. Starting a diet.

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