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If you’ve been on the internet this morning, you’ve probably been forced to watch my least favorite video of 2015. We covered it in detail already, but here it is again if you feel like hating yourself for watching again:
I struggled to make it through in my first attempt to watch it but made it the full distance during the second go purely because I couldn’t stop looking at the absolute clowns who subjected themselves to this embarrassment.
But some were worse than others.
15. The Old Man In The Hawaiian Shirt
I love island vibes, that’s no surprise to anyone. But there’s a time and place for a Hawaiian shirt and weddings are not it. You want to do that at a rehearsal dinner or a morning after brunch? That’s fine by me. But don’t show up to the reception untucked and shortsleeved.
14. The Ladler
I respect your creativity but at the same time, you were still begging for a gimmick. Try less and you’ll be more. Live by that.
13. The Faceless Man With A Fake Butt
Whether this prop was provided or you brought it from home, it was never the move to put it on and twerk in front of the camera. Just have some self respect, man. Millions of people are going to see this video and that’s your lasting impression.
12. The “Sugar” Guitar Player
I don’t know a lot about playing the air guitar, but I do know that’s not how you do it. Knees bent, slunk back, missing the chords? If you’re going to nominate yourself to be the point man of the “Sugar” scene, you need to be well-equipped. He’s just not.
11. Flower Crown
“Guys, I’ve got the best idea! Can you help me take these flowers from the centerpiece and decorate my head with them so it looks like I’m wearing a mane of daisies? It’ll be hilarious.”
10. Anaconda Mom
9.The Girl In The Yellow Dress
No one should ever subject themselves to being the focal point of an “Anaconda” music video, especially if you’re over the age of 50 or under the age of 10. I’m not going to let my daughter listen to “Anaconda” let alone dance obliviously to it in a viral video attempt. I hope Child Services was ready to take her away upon the bride and groom walking out of the reception.
8. The DJ
This entire thing is on you, dude. You could have saved us all the pain of watching this horse shit had you just misplaced the CD or told them your auxiliary cord wasn’t working. But no, you had to subject us all to one of the most irritating wedding videos to date.
7. The Asian Man Holding The Soy Sauce
You just set your race back at least ten years by holding that bottle of soy sauce while “Shots” played.
6. The White Man Holding The Soy Sauce
This is just blatantly racist, man. Clean it up.
5. Father Time
Pure and simple, he’s just too old to be loving the video this much. When I’m old as fuck, people will be lucky if they get me out of my seat to even go to the bar for another brown drink. You’d have to be straight up loco if you think I’d even entertain getting in a video like this.
4. The Cheesedick
Because of course bow tie guy looks like the biggest twat of the bunch. In a video full of punchable faces, this guy somehow takes home the award for having the most punchable face.
That Bernie tho.
3. Backwards Leather Hat
He lives for these situations and that makes me sick to my fucking stomach. Backwards leather hat, closed ankle pants, cuffed shirt/jacket combo, no tie, and he hammed it up for the camera more than anyone else. Backwards Leather Hat, you disgust me.
2. The Bride
1. The Groom
Who do you think you are making an entire wedding do a viral video? Have you no shame? Have you no class? It’s almost as if you got married purely so you could hit seven-figure clicks on your YouTube video in an effort to validate your love for one another. For your second marriages, just do less and save us all the seven minutes of hell you already put us through once.
But while both of these two are almost equally the worst, the groom takes the cake by being way too into it to the point where he’s legitimately cutting her out of the frame when he’s Nae Nae’ing. Just absolute filth. .
Respond
Will
Will (Twitter / Instagram) is the host of The Sunday Scaries Podcast.
@willdefries
@willdefries
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will@grandex.co
I love that you broke the video down… Keep it up guys, I don’t plan on doing shit today.
“OMG everyone has to watch this super fun video!”
EVERYONE in my office today.
Why is she dressed like Kristi Yamaguchi?
Fuck off. The bride and groom are the owners of one of the best sushi restaurants in Orlando. As long as they keep that restaurant open, they can make as many crappy music videos as they want.
I’d be angry too if I had to live in Orlando.
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It’s just so damn hot here. We’re all miserable.