To all my former teachers, coaches, and administrators reading this: I know you were pissed at the time, but you have to admit that this was pretty funny. I know you love us.
I grew up in a small Christian school. Everyone from K3 all the way to 12th grade was all at the same school. Growing up in a small school like that was quite the experience, and while I missed out on a lot of memories and things that only public schools had to offer, I was also able to get into mischief with my close friends that would get us expelled from just about any public school. Since we all grew up together, and many of our moms worked at the school, we would get bored. It finally got to the point where we would do anything to get in trouble, so we would get as creative as possible. One time my best friend climbed in the bed of my truck with a stool and a javelin while I drove him straight towards his brother in the back of another truck being driven straight at us. We called it truck jousting, and we did it right there on the soccer field. That wasn’t the only time we got creative with our trucks though.
I’ll never forget the day when I was sitting with my friends at lunch and our buddy Jordan told us about this go kart he had. He brought it to school and had put it in the shed out back. After lunch we all ran out to the shed before class to check it out, because every 17 and 18-year-old boy wants to drive a go kart. There was only one problem, though- no engine. We joked about hooking it up to the back of one of our trucks and pulling it around, and then we finally began to put a master plan together.
One day we all decided to skip class and head to the shed. I grabbed some tow straps from my truck and we hooked up the go kart to the back of Jordan’s truck. We all immediately volunteered Zach (my best friend that I always got in trouble with) to be the pilot of the go kart. With no helmet, he climbed behind the wheel. Our one friend who literally never got in trouble jumped in the passenger seat and the rest of us piled in the truck bed to watch the show. The next half hour was one of the most exhilarating moments of my life up to that point.
We started slowly around the driveway and drove around through some of the fields (my school had 30+ acres and woods too). Zach seemed to be holding up alright behind the wheel and we were all enjoying life. Soon though, like the young boys that we were, we decided to continue to push the limits. Jordan started to drive faster and faster while Zach started drifting around behind the track. Eventually we came blind around a corner of the school driveway when we almost slammed into a Yukon parked in the car line waiting to pick up their kids. Preschool got out earlier than we did, and all the parents had started to line up to pick up their little munchkins. A teacher standing outside caught a glimpse of us and all she did was yell “HEY!”
It was at this point that we escalated the ride. The truck was moving so fast that I was lying down in the bed by now, but I poked my head out to look back at Zach in the go kart. He was not having as much fun as he was at first, and the look of terror on his face mimicked that of a college freshman receiving the “I’m late” text. The tires began to come off the rims and I thought Zach was going to flip at any minute.
As we pulled back around for another lap, multiple teachers and administrators were outside yelling at us to stop. Eventually, because of Zach’s safety and the go kart’s health, our joyride was forced to come to an end. None of us were injured, no preschoolers were harmed, and all the parents and teachers eventually got over it. However, every single one of us got suspended, even the kid sitting in the front seat who never got in trouble.
Remorseful? No. Sorry? Not one bit. Proud? Absolutely. Boys will be boys and I will always remember getting suspended with the squad..
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