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That Time I Almost Started A Class War In Williamsburg, Brooklyn

That Time I Almost Started A Class War In Williamsburg, Brooklyn

This past Sunday was my birthday and I realized that it is, in fact, a day to do things and not just a day to lay in your bed nursing a hangover while making the claim that you’ll take it easy next weekend. So I, along with a couple of buddies, headed to a food festival called Smorgasburg in Prospect Park (this was a huge change-up for me as I have never been).

On Smorgasburg: 1) The food does live up to the hype – tacos, brisket, grilled cheese, ice cream you name it, they have it. 2) Food is also quite expensive and the cash only part is a tad bit preposterous to me. 3) The amount of attractive women attending this event is absurd.

After about two hours there, my friends and I headed over to Williamsburg to go to a place called Freehold. The actual spot was cool but a little trendy and hipsterish for my liking. The inside was large, air conditioned and very modern by today’s standards. The outside space was the best part with picnic tables, a large wooden deck, some benches, a nice turf area and a bar. We drank, met some new people and had a blast. Also, there was a ping pong tournament going on outside with some CRAZY talented players so that was fun to watch.

Now, the interesting part. The group I was with got called out for two reasons that I have a hard time understanding. Nonetheless, they are quite funny so here they are.

First, my friend went to the bar and ordered three Bud Light bottles; sorry for not ordering the house IPA. The bill came out to a total of $21. My buddy paid the bill and we turned around. About two minutes later we hear a girl’s voice go, “Wow, fuck [name redacted]!”

Oh yes, the [name redacted] happened to be my friend. Naturally, 1,000,000 thoughts were running through our minds as we tried to find out the reason this random girl yelled that. So, we all turned around and I pointed to my friend to let her know that she had just screamed his name. Then, something ridiculous happened – she takes her sunglasses off and asked, “You only left a $3 tip?!”

Wait… what? This random person just called him out for a 14% tip on a $21 tab where all the bartender did was unscrew three bottles? Don’t get me wrong, I have the utmost respect for tip-based work (bartenders, waiters, valet etc.) but that is absolutely absurd on both calling my friend out in general and then insinuating the tip was not enough.

I was also insanely impressed with how well my friend took it, he was very calm and then literally asked her what the appropriate tip would be. She responded saying that she would have tipped $10… I don’t need to explain how batshit that is.

The conversation went on quite civilly and we parted ways to watch some ping pong. But, what this girl did next is even more preposterous. She came over with a receipt to show a $20 tip on a $40 tab and said, “This is how you tip.” She then condescendingly explained to us that you need to move the decimal one place to the left AND THEN double or triple it to make the appropriate tip.

Judging based off this interaction and the demographic that I associate with this area, I assumed this girl was some a bit of a self-important person that came from money (Ignorant? Yes). First, must be easy to throw around money that isn’t yours (i.e. that black card in the receipt tin doesn’t have a girl’s name on it). Second, thanks for the math lesson. Maybe, just maybe I could divide by five? Or even break out a calculator? Either way, that was a great help.

About an hour later, my friend here is a conversation behind us as one girl in a group goes to another, “We’re being such girls right now, I love us!” Cringeworthy stuff. One of my friends whispers to me about how brutal it is and we both chuckle. Next thing you know, a girl in that crowd asks us if we found her friend funny and calls us out for a conversation in which she EAVESDROPPED!

Was my friend out of line by making fun of her friend to only me? Up for interpretation, but I also find it slightly aggressive to call someone out for a conversation you weren’t directly a part of. We start talking with her trying to explain ourselves and strike up some conversation and she drops some great one-liners.

“You guys seem like you are sooooo classist.” Before last Sunday, I didn’t even know what being “classist” was, but apparently, it’s when you judge someone on what their parents occupations are. There seems to be an “-ist” for everything these days. Mind you, this girl made us well aware of the fact that she attended one of the expensive private colleges in the Continental US.

“The large residential buildings in Manhattan are taking away from immigrant culture of the city and obstructing the view.” I am not going to address the first part because I have no idea what she meant by that. The second part, obstructing the view of what? The glorious mountains that surrounded the island before being destroyed by infrastructure? The other buildings? The wonderful Hudson or East River? If anyone has some insight, please let me know.

Well, after this conversation ended, we carried on with our evenings until it was time to head home. You could say I’m rattled by the above scenarios. Also, I had to share this because I do think that both scenarios were unwarranted.

It was a great day in Brooklyn and those two events didn’t do anything to ruin it I just thought they were funny and worth sharing. But, I do not think I will be going back anytime soon due to the fact that it is not exactly my pace. Plus, my mind remains closed and fixated on the same four bars in Manhattan.

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