Ten Staples Of Any Basic Chick’s Lifestyle

Email this to a friend


Basic Bitch Lifestyle

I don’t get all of the hate surrounding being basic. People love to hate it while simultaneously living the stereotype. I hear the word basic thrown around more by white girls carrying Louis Vuitton Neverfull totes and wearing Persol sunglasses than anyone else. I’ll be the first to admit: I thrive in it. Live for it. The basic yuppie lifestyle is all I want and need at this point in time. I genuinely don’t care if someone refers to me as basic. I don’t understand why it has such a negative connotation.

Is it because you want to be your own kind of special little snowflake? Is it so someone will call you unique and different? I went through that phase once, too, in the sixth grade. I wore Good Charlotte t-shirts, wristbands from Hot Topic, and called myself “punk.” Iggy Pop would be ashamed. Rebel against the mainstream all you want, but you’re just missing out on some of the purest joys in this life. Here are 10 staples of the basic lifestyle that I never want to do without.

10. Top 40 Radio

I used to think that I was a real music snob way back in the day. I absolutely refused to listen to any pop, country, or what I referred to as the “oldies.” In my ignorance, I even looked down my nose at the Billy Joel tunes my dad would put on the stereo. It is now a very different era.

Top 40 radio is often viewed as inferior to other genres, but what do you think are the first tunes you throw on when you head to the lake in the summer? Top 40. We’ve got the Biebs, T-Swift, The Chainsmokers, even Drake. And let’s not forget Calvin Harris, Kygo, or Pitbull. I love to hate Pitbull, but if I’m three deep at the bar and hear “Mr. 305” come out of the speakers, I can’t promise that I won’t be singing along to that garbage. Every summer has a song, one that you’ll hear years from now that will bring you right back to a particular moment in time. For me, this year’s is Calvin and Rihanna. It’s basic, and I’m not afraid to admit it.

9. Tropical Vacations

Vacations are few and far between for most of us. When we are blessed with some PTO, we have to really make it count. Gone are the days where I dreamt of taking a backpacking trip across Europe. No longer do I imagine trekking through the mountains in hiking boots and roughing it in a tent. If I can work in a vacation these days, it’s almost a guarantee that I’m headed somewhere tropical. All I want is to be horizontal in the sand and not have to take my Ray-Bans off for 7 whole days. I want to get lit on over-priced frozen beverages served out of pineapples and coconuts. I don’t need to go somewhere unique. I don’t need to walk some unbeaten path. Drop me off at a resort with decent WiFi, and I won’t need to move for the duration of my stay.

8. Snapchat

That being said, I love it. So far this summer, I’ve been to multiple European countries and plenty of beaches via my pals’ Snapchat stories. I’ve witnessed some hilarious nights via Snap from people who were way too drunk to remember what they sent me. Personally, I enjoy going to happy hour, snapping a pic of my beer, and drawing sunglasses and a smirk on it with the little pencil to throw out some “it’s going down” vibes on My Story. I am also sincerely entertained by the stupid filters. You won’t catch me quitting Snapchat anytime soon, even if it is the government’s attempt at creating a facial recognition database. I prefer to live life on the edge.

7. Trendy Workout Classes

Exercising can really suck, and many people don’t enjoy it. But fresh new styles of workouts are coming out every day. It’s an attempt to rope millenials just like you and me into trying them and it’s working. I fall for it every time. SoulCycle, pure barre, CrossFit, Bikram, Orange Theory, Zumba: they’ve got something for everyone. These Facebook check-ins come at a steep price, though. With places like Equinox charging $150+ per month in member fees, and pure barre drop in-classes costing you somewhere around a Tubman a pop, it’s no wonder we will all be paying off our student loans until we are in the grave. All for the sake of the bougie lifestyle, though, am I right?

6. Uber

Apparently loving the fact that I can have my own personal chauffeur at my beck-and-call is “basic.” It is easily one of the best app inventions in the past 7 years. I use Uber at least once or twice a week, and it is an absolute God-send. Lost? Order an Uber. Your friend way too hammered? Your savior is arriving soon in a maroon Honda Accord. Just this past weekend, I went out with my law school classmates for the first time. Things got out of hand, and I ultimately found myself coming to in the front seat of an Uber in the Taco Bell drive thru line at around 2:30 a.m. If that’s not called “living the dream,” I don’t know what is.

5. Blogs

Everyone and their mother has a blog. I have a blog. You probably have a blog. You’re reading a blog right now. Every basic millennial loves to tell the world about every single part of their basic little lives. Every social media outlet I use is just an embarrassing live-stream of my consciousness. I know that none of you really care about what I have to say, but that doesn’t stop me from saying it. And don’t lie, PGP gets you through the toughest of Thursdays when you think you can’t make it to the office happy hour. Hate all you want, but blogs are love, blogs are life, and content never sleeps. We’re here for you.

4. Athleisure

Hungover? Throw on those joggers and feel your Scaries melt away. Heading to the Whole Foods in Uptown? Slip into your favorite leggings with the mesh cutouts so the world knows that you are so yoga while you drink your Trilogy kombucha in the line to check-out. I live for a pair of plain black Lululemon leggings. I don’t have to put much effort or thought into my attire, and somehow the male population is still into it. I hope the athleisure trend never dies. All I need now is a pair of Oxford Tan Yeezy Boost 350’s. If anyone knows where to find them, please let me know. Don’t forget to tell deFries, too.

3. Instagram

One of my favorite social media outlets is the ‘gram. I could spend literal hours cruising my timeline and ogling over complete strangers via the explore page. Any time my friends and I plan to go somewhere new and trendy, you bet your ass I’m already racking my brain for a good caption. Restaurants, bars, parks, anything is fair game. There’s nothing like breaking your first 100+ likes and getting several fire emoji’s on a perfectly filtered pic. Hate me for it, I don’t care, but I’m willing to bet most of you secretly feel the same exact way. Go ahead, do it for the likes. Nobody’s stopping you. I’ll just be over here living my life in Lo-Fi, as always.

2. Happy Hour

A millennial staple. Happy hour is one of the highlights of the work week. It’s that moment in time where you can actually purchase literal happiness for a very cheap price. Do I have a drinking problem? Well, that’s neither here nor there. All I know is that when I sit down at my favorite watering hole with a fun group of rowdy pals for some bevys on special, I get a shit-eating grin on my face. I may be signing up for a Friday morning hangover, but that’s a price that I’m very willing to pay. Shots for the table? That’s what I thought.

1. Brunch

You knew this would come out on top. Brunch is the GOAT and I don’t want to argue about it. It’s the perfect combo of some of my favorite activities. First, you get to sleep in. Then, as soon as you wake up, you get to start drinking alcohol again and nobody judges you for it. After that, you get to eat delicious brunch specialties like petite tenderloin eggs Benny or lobster and waffles. Two and a half spicy Bloodies late and you’re officially back to neutral, barreling full speed ahead to that day-drunk buzz by 1:30 p.m. The whole gang is hopping off the Hangover Train and headed towards Sunday Funday City, a place where everyone is all smiles and laughs.

At the end of the day, I’m simply asking you to give the basic lifestyle a fighting chance. But fair warning: once you’re here, you’re never going to want to go back.

Come on in, the rosé’s fine.

Email this to a friend


Log in or create an account to post a comment.

Click to Read Comments (21)