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Taco Bell Unveils The New Quesarito, Tells Chipotle To Watch The F*#^ Out

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First, Taco Bell took the world by storm with the Doritos Locos Taco–of which they’ve sold almost a billion of those tasty, little beauties ALONE. Then, they turned the breakfast world on its ear with the Taco Bell Breakfast menu; The Breakfast Taco and AM Crunchwrap have changed more lives than Scientology.

Now, Taco Bell’s not just gunning for your dollars, but it’s chasing something bigger: Chipotle’s bottom line. How? By straight up stealing Chipotle’s most popular “secret” item.

Taco Bell announced today that it will introduce the Quesarito, which is the burrito/quesadilla hybrid that has clogged my arteries full of warm, gooey cheese, and put it on the menu full-time starting June 9. According to the Los Angeles Times, Taco Bell representatives tested the Quesarito in February in Oklahoma City and it was the fastest-selling item since the Doritos Locos Tacos.

This couldn’t come at a more perfect time for Taco Bell, considering that Chipotle has gotten a lot of bad press lately for the price increases it announced back in April. Hell, some Chipotle restaurants won’t even SERVE you a Quesarito, considering it’s a secret item. Chipotle representatives have publicly denounced the Quesarito and refuse to put it on menus.

Meanwhile, Taco Bell is selling its version of the Quesarito at a fraction of the $11 you can get it for at Chipotle. The suggested retail price at Taco Bell is $1.99 for seasoned beef (650 calories), $2.79 for shredded chicken (620 calories), and $2.99 for steak (640 calories). So…I can buy four or five for the price of ONE Quesarito? I think I’m about to become Team Taco Bell all the way.

I’m also going to start making monthly appointments with my cardiologist. I wonder if Dr. Fierstein has a “buy 10, get 2 free” program for EKGs.

[via USA Today]

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