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Sunday Scaries Panic Room Breakdown: President’s Day Weekend

This is a recurring PGP series. Catch up with all installments of Sunday Scaries Panic Room by visiting the archive.

You’re in one of two camps right now: you’re either sitting at your desk wondering, “Why the hell am I sitting at my desk right now when half of the American workforce is hungover in bed?” Or, you’re sitting hungover in bed because you’re one of those corporate suits who somehow gets President’s Day off. Yes, you can feel the jealousy oozing from my pores.

That being said, last night was still a Scary one considering the amount of Panic Rooms that came flooding in. After spending an al fresco happy hour that included a monstrous ham sandwich and a bottle of rosé, I found myself sitting in my room debating between the NBA All-Star Game or streaming season three of Chef’s Table before passing out and inevitably waking up at 3 a.m. with my tv blasting. I went with the latter.

Let’s get into these creme de la creme of this week’s submissions.

When the duty of brunch calls, you go. The look in this guy’s eye just says, “I’m here to drink mimosas and talk to babes – and I’m hoping both will be bottomless.” I’ll be here all week, everyone.

Damn, a scenic Panic Room. The first of its kind.

Beautiful setup here, but we need to get you a guy who knows how to hide those cables, hombre. Love the snowboard/golf club resting-against-the-wall combo platter we’ve got going on. It says, “I’m sporty but I’m also rich enough to be able to afford these sports.” Well done.

Why would you tell me there’s a Boykin Spaniel in the room and not include said Boykin Spaniel in your photo? Makes zero sense and you’re awarded no points.

Now we talkin’ Panic Rooms. You know you’re in a bad place when you queue up the ocean sounds.

The high school lacrosse shorts/PFG combo screams, “I did Fireball shots on Saturday night.”

Ashamed that I didn’t even realize Planet Earth II is available to watch. Might go home at lunch and entertain this.

#chillsitch

I’ll just say it – probably one of the funniest submissions ever received. For some reason “Filson crutches” just got me.

V confused as to how you played 25 holes and not, oh, I don’t know… 27? I’ll assume the sun went down while you were hitting your last barefoot drive of the night.

The plastic stein is a pro move. If you knock that thing over, you only spill rather than have to clean up glass shards like the shards Marnie was cleaning up on Girls last night while Desi did lines of oxycontin next to her.

Okay, I need an answer here because I can’t stop wondering this about this particular photo – why is the dog bowl on the table? Does your dog drink water on the table? Or did you put it up there because he was done? I just can’t figure out why this dog bowl is on the damn table.

Oh helllllllll yeahhhhhhhhhhh.

This is your final warning: you either stop wearing shoes inside or you don’t get your submission posted ever again. This is psychotic behavior that I can’t approve of.

Look at you go, Charlie. Might need to binge Oscar picks all week so I know what’s going on next weekend.

Pet sitting >>>>>>>>>

Always love the first night in a brand new Panic Room.

Nothing beats a good Sunday Shark Tank viewing. Have about 1,000 episodes DVR’d for those nights when I need to take the edge off with a little #business.

I can hear the puppy snores from here. Happy Monday, everyone. See you next week when all of our lives are circling the drain during The Oscars.

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Will deFries

Will deFries (@WilldeFries) is the world's foremost authority on Sunday Scaries. Senior Writer, Editor, and Content Manager. Email me at will@grandex.co.

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