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Study Says Excessive Drinking Doesn’t Mean You’re An Alcoholic!

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Good news, everybody, we’re not alcoholics! Well, some of us might be, but not as many as we had thought. A study done by the CDC has found that only 1 in 10 excessive drinkers are actually alcoholics. Now, some might question why the CDC is working on this rather than Ebola, but I ain’t scared of no Ebola, and this is much more relevant to my life.

According to the study, 30% of Americans go over the healthy level of drinking into excessive territory, but only 10% of excessive drinkers display diagnosable alcohol dependency. So what does the CDC consider to be excessive drinking? According to them, it’s “anyone who engaged in binge drinking over the past month (five drinks in one session for men, four for women), any alcohol consumption by pregnant women, or any underage drinking within the past 30 days.”

What?! THAT’S binge drinking? Well apparently a lazy night of me showing utter restraint is considered “excessive.” Guess I might be in more trouble than I originally thought. So what are we calling an alcoholic, then? Anyone who’s ever looked at a bottle of booze the way cartoon characters look at each other when they get stranded out at sea?

In the same study, alcoholism is indicated by, “tolerance, withdrawal, impaired control (the inability to stop drinking once you start), unsuccessful attempts to cut down or stop drinking, continued use despite problems, neglect of activities, and time spent in alcohol related activity (having a large portion of your life revolve around drinking).” Well I don’t hit all of those, so I’m good.

Oh, you only have to hit three to qualify?

Shit.

[via Business Insider]

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Randall J. Knox

Randall J. Knox (known colloquially to his friends as "Knox") left his native Texas a few years ago, and moved to Los Angeles in his '03 Buick Regal named LeRoi to write movies with his jackass college buddies. His favorite things in life include bourbon that's above his pay grade, mix CDs, and Kevin Costner films. He isn't sure what "dad jeans" are exactly, but he knows he wants a pair.

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