I don’t know how many pieces I can start with the phrase, “Weddings are expensive.” But here I am, again, telling you that weddings are expensive. For every swan ice sculpture and seventeen-piece wedding band, there’s a father-of-the-bride who’s signing checks and thanking his lucky stars he didn’t have even more daughters.
But before the wedding ceremony can even occur, there’s the money-suck of “save the dates” and invitations. I’ve never really understood why invitations can’t completely take the place of “save the dates” in the first place, but the wedding industry is based solely on selling people a bunch of shit they don’t need.
Case in point – video wedding invitations.
The New York Times, as we’ve discussed before, is the go-to hub for expensive socialite weddings. So, it only makes sense that they’d be the destination for all things expensive, namely this dumbass creation that you’d have to be insane to spend your money on.
Per The New York Times:
Video invitations sent via email are nothing new, but sending a video invitation by mail adds another elegant, and expensive, step to the process.
Spreengs is another New York company that offers mailable digital cards. The business is the retail arm of a larger company, PIM, that makes film brochures for companies, said Robbie Kory, the sales manager for Spreengs. Wedding invitations have so far accounted for a fraction of interest in Spreengs. “But we’re watching sales go up as more people discover what they can do with video,” he said.
This is dumb. I wish I could come up with a more creative way to describe these overpriced iPad-ish invitations, but “dumb” is the simplest way to refer to them.
“When people see these invitations, you should see their faces,” the founder told The New York Times. “We’re not selling invitations. What we’re really selling is surprise and joy.” But I’ve got a newsflash for you, Walter Cronkite – you are selling invites because you know that there are enough bridezillas in the world to fund your start-up.
These video invitations look like this:
Yes, you open this book of secrets to reveal a video slideshow of your friends making out with one another. It’s the FaceTime of wedding invitations, except you can’t just hang up when you’re done with it. Instead, you have to figure out how long is long enough to keep it around your apartment before it’s acceptable to slide it into your trashcan.
The price for these begins at $65 a piece with a 25 invite minimum. But (deal alert!) if you buy 500, the price goes down to… wait for it… only $38 a piece. Yes, that’s a $19,000 price tag to tell your friends you want to party with them. That’s a brand new 2017 Ford Fiesta. One of the founders even went as far as to say, “No amount of cotton rag or rhinestones will ever bring a tear to anyone’s eye the way a beautifully done video invitation will,” which are the exact words who knows that no one makes money off cotton and rhinestones.
What’s next? Someone who’s job it is to come up with wedding hashtags? Wait, that already exists. .
[via The New York Times]
Image via The Knot