Any time you’re entertaining the dating app scene, you have to take measures to ensure the person you’ve matched with isn’t a hoarder, serial killer, or porn bot. I’d say that this is easier said than done, but it’s is fairly easy. If you give me someone’s photo and first name, I can give you a complete life history of them in about twenty minutes. I never had one single Tinder or Bumble match that went un-creeped on either Facebook or Instagram and that’s because anyone who I couldn’t find was immediately considered to be catfishing me.
Sometimes, just sometimes, it’s not so evident. In the case of “Anna” (name has been changed for the sake of anonymity), she has since started dating her Bumble match. But after she reached out to me on Twitter, I’m not so sure she could continue dating her Bumble match.
This guy I have been dating from bumble has recently described Sunday nights as “relaxing” and his “favorite night of the week” ..how alarmed should I be?
Oh, Anna. Ohhhhh, Anna.
Anna is clearly familiar with the concept of The Sunday Scaries (the anxiety that sets in on Sunday nights with the impending return to work, school, or the office), and she also must be familiar with the fact that I’m the world’s foremost authority on them. Yes, it’s a self-assessed title, but I defy you to find anyone more well-versed in them. Jordan has basketball, Hugh Grant has romantic comedies, and I have Sunday night anxiety.
Frankly, there are those who don’t suffer from The Sunday Scaries. I, personally, do not understand those people. Once you’re aware of what they are and the horror they can bring, one cannot escape them. Yes, you can take measures to avoid them, but like most sexually transmitted diseases, there will still be flare-ups from time to time that you have to confront. Clearly, her Bumble Boyfriend does not suffer from this anxiety which is why we’re here in the first place.
The notion that a Sunday can be one’s “favorite night of the week” due to its “relaxing” properties is what we need to explore here. From an outsider’s perspective, the casual anxiety-induced millennial’s Sunday night appears to be relaxing. Candles, ice water, low lights, fans, television, and a book sitting on the bed (unread) to put off the vibe that you read books (even though you don’t). That, in itself, sounds relaxing. Unfortunately, it’s anything but.
Anna, you need to ask yourself the following questions:
Does he have a job? The only way to avoid Sunday Scaries completely is by taking work off Monday. If you don’t work on Monday, you might consider Sundays to be relaxing.
Does he have a job with strange hours? If so, his Scaries simply come on another night. Proceed with dating.
Is he sober? There’s nothing wrong with being sober, but a sober person might look down on the lifestyle that breeds the dread of Sunday nights. In this case, I’d get out before it goes too far and you marry each other out of convenience.
Does he make so much money that he has no worries in life? Marry him. Or at least hit me with his Instagram name so I can figure out what he’s doing right that I’m not. Having someone offset our Scaries might be the blessing we all need. .