Hello, boyyyyysssssss, (and girls), I’m baaaaaack. The last two weeks have been an absolute whirlwind. Israel was an incredible experience. I’m beyond words. I’m not going to go into how amazing Birthright was, because words in a blog can’t do it justice. Let me just say this, though. If you’ve got the opportunity to go on Birthright, don’t think, just shoot. Do it. Do it now. You’ll thank me later (I exclusively accept shea butter lip balm payments and OTPHJs as thank you’s). I’m sure thousands of you (maybe like eight people, tbh) are still on the edge of their seat about where in the world
is Carmen San Diego I’m moving to. And I’m going to tell you. I promise.
But that’s the thing: so many of us are looking forward to a specific thing, and we’re letting the here and now carry less importance. Maybe you’re working for the weekend and simply let Monday through Thursday blend together and slip through the cracks. For me, it was my move. I’ve been looking forward to my move, saying “everything will change when I move. I’ll move and then do X Y and Z and it’s going to be amazeballs.” But with that mindset, I basically pissed away the entire fall. What noteworthy shit have I done since being back at home? Honestly, nothing. And that’s kind of fucked up.
A few weeks ago, I said 2017 needs to be the year of no regrets and start living like you want, on your terms. But if we’re constantly focused on the destination, the journey is completely glossed over. The problem with that is two-fold. One, like I said a few weeks ago, life is so precious and each day deserves your undivided attention. If you’re constantly looking forward to something down the road, you could completely miss something major right in front of you. Just be fucking present. Two, you learn so much more about yourself during the journey. LIFE is the journey. So why are we constantly looking past the present for some wishful future?
Yes, life (hopefully) is going to be more on my terms when I move. That’s the whole point of the move. But ever since I put the plans in motion to move someplace new back in September, I’ve been so focused on what’s going to happen when it happens and paid way less attention to actually living; paid way less attention to the six inches right in front of my face. But I only really realized that until recently. Probably because I’ve been too focused on anything but the present.
Isn’t it interesting how present and present are literally the same fucking word? (English is a bonkers language, bee tee dubs). I mean, the here and now is literally a gift, and all we can do is look beyond it faster than I guzzle mimos at bottomless brunch (which Boston doesn’t have but my new city will #tease).
When I was in Israel last week (did I mention I was in Israel?), my phone died, and the closest Apple store was, ummm, far away. So your boy was phoneless for like six days. Woah is me, amirite? The thing is, it sucked. Which is so fucked up to think how dependent I am (we are) to that damn black mirror. But I got through it (I’m so brave, hold your applause until the end), and I noticed something. Six days of not staring at a screen and my eyesight improved. My neck didn’t hurt. My attention was exponentially better. I had no choice but to just be in the moment, and it’s a wonder at all the shit you begin to notice when you’re actually present in the moment.
I’ve said before that I can’t wait to be in my thirties, because I know how much better I’ll be at life by then. But if I don’t actually face the challenges of my twenties head on, I’ll be just as lost when I’m older. We can’t keep looking to the future for answers; we must confront life head on, every moment.
Remember, it’s not the quarry but the chase; it’s not the trophy but the race.
Oh, and if you wanted an actual moving update, nothing really changed since I’ve been in Israel, but I AM looking at apartments this weekend in the city I’m moving to, so maybe you’ll see me around..
Image via Shutterstock