If you were to ask someone not born in America their opinions on what Americans love, they’d probably say something along the lines of “big boobs” and “fried food,” and they’d be completely, 100% correct.
Hence the reason why one of America’s finest eating establishments was born: Hooters, bringing you glorious chicken wings served by beautiful, buxom women in scantily clad clothing for over 30 years. Who wouldn’t want a part of that?
Certainly not Andrei Kirilenko, the Russian sensation Forward for the Brooklyn Nets, who announced today that he will be opening Russia’s first Hooters restaurant on April 28th in Moscow, under a franchise agreement with Hooters of America Inc.
In a statement, Kirilenko had this to say: “Russians and Americans are more alike than different – huge sports fans who are looking for great food and good times. When you’ve got waitresses that look like ours, it’s a slam dunk.”
Ha! Get it? Slam dunk? He plays Basketball!
Considering that Kirilenko’s wife, famous Russian Pop Singer “Masha,” allows him to have sex with another woman once per year, the move isn’t a surprise for the 33-year-old dual Russian/American citizen.
However, add “sports bars” to the list of “things that Americans do better than Russians.”
To add insult to injury, the brand-new Hooters will be located near the former KGB headquarters in Moscow, will be able to seat 169 people, will have 40 flat-screen TVs showing Russian and American sports, and is hiring as many as 80 waitresses, all of whom I’m sure have great personalities.
Boobies and Wings > Communism. All day, every day.